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2,194 smashes / 3,873 upvotes / smashed from 5,075 real headlines
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UN Security Council Staff Expected as Soon as He Jails Rogue Plumber Bizpacreview BroBible CNN The Telegraph
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Corporal Punishment to Be Shredded! TMZ
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"Human Ken Doll" Comes Out of the Last Avoidable NHS Scandal - the Ones That Will Help Tackle the Climate Crisis Talks Bizpacreview BuzzFeed CNN The Independent ZergNet
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Feed Your Face: These 13 Foods Can Help Give You All the Fish Instyle Western Journalism
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Boris Johnson's Big Ben Bong Bung Bid Buggered The Guardian
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Eccentric Vicars in British Government. More Soon Slate
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Pensioner Fails to Get Enough of Course Los Angeles Times New York Magazine
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Elton John Nearly Falls While Accepting Golden Globe for Best Original Score for Joker Leads CNN Pitchfork Uproxx ZergNet
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Rudy Giuliani Slams Democrats: They Should Pay for Nuclear Holocaust Survivor 100percentfedup NPR
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Rap Does Not Have 51 Votes to Defeat Climate Change, Says Manufacturer Breitbart Free Republic The Guardian New York Times
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Oh, That Plane…..yes…that Was Us Aircraft Drudge Report
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Queen disappointed at Lack of Abs BroBible
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Grandmother Caught With Meth, Heroin Asks for Crocodile Sandwich to Go… More Later Drudge Report Fox News
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Vox to Fired Writers: Work for Children Drudge Report Free Republic
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Aggressive Tiger Shark Deflates Man's Paddleboard, Pursues Him Back to Victorian Sweatshop Fox News
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Trump Urged to Step Down, Replaced by Your Nosey Neighbour Fox News The Guardian New York Times
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Dogs Have a Knighthood Free Republic
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Met Police Confident They Are Funded by George Soros in Ukraine? Dcclothesline Free Republic
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Public Demand Longer Prison Sentences for Murderers, Except When It Reduces Food Prices by 50% Mirror
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Idris Elba Is OK, Despite Not Being Racist Enough CNN
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The Morning AFTER "flee the Country" Pill to Go on Holiday Updates Engadget The Guardian Twitchy
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Bolton Associates Were Forced to Wear Lingerie BuzzFeed The Raw Story
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Get a Free Pizza Express Engadget New York Post
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Handcuffed for Selling Out to Be Measured in Greggs Pasties Mirror New York Times
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God to Switch Parties — From Democrat to Another, Please Jump Off the Shelves Elite Daily Fox News Libertyunyielding
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God to Switch in 2019 PHub 9gag The A.V. Club
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How the Tories Vow The Guardian
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Boris Apologises for "Schizophrenia" Comments About Cinema BroBible The Telegraph
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Toyota Worker Killed Himself Over Cuts The Independent
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Fire Brigade to Reduce Cardiovascular Disease Risk Naturalnews
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Queen "Has No Recollection" of a God Breitbart
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Michael Gove Changes Name to Christian Groups The Guardian
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Caitlyn Jenner May Not Want to Raise Prices for Drugs Bought by NHS Replacement New York Magazine The Independent
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Welcome to the Dog on the Sun HotAir The Independent
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Corbyn Offers CBI Free Rhubarb From His Job Security Cheezburger Fox News
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Tories Promise to Make Mashed Potatoes HelloGiggles ZergNet
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An Angry Tom Brady Insists He Didn't Like Peaky Blinders Shunned by Mates BroBible
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Scientists Discover Root Cause of Interruptions – You Are Zendaya Elite Daily
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Man With a Manager Who Doesn't Manage Fast Company
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The Math Behind PIzza Express Cheezburger