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49,125 smashes / 120,996 upvotes / smashed from 35,097 real headlines
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Attention Sleepy Heads: Nap Your Way Through the Horrors io9 Jezebel
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Dung Beetles Like to Keep Productive All Day 2 Business Insider io9 New York Times Lede
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Flying Spaghetti Monsters Have Been Causing USB Disconnects Hacker News io9
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These Disney Princes Are Here to Talk to Women Without Being Totally Hypocritical? io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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We Were Legally Allowed to Have 6 Cameras Business Insider io9 Upworthy
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Why China's Next Top Model Fell Down and Messed Up Shit Happened! io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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First Official Look at Everything Wrong With Political Discourse in One Graph BuzzFeed io9 ZergNet
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Which Sweet Sixteen Team Is Being Officially Considered by Congress! Deadspin io9
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The Difference Between Being Gay and Trying to Break the Guinness World Record for Largest Secret Santa Exchange Again The A.V. Club io9 Pitchfork Upworthy
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Curiosity Rover Has Been Accused of Robbing Fans and Their Stats CollegeHumor io9 TMZ
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15 Things You Didn't Know About Dennis Tito's 2018 Human Mission to Dramatize Everything That's Ever Happened The A.V. Club BuzzFeed io9
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What Would Happen if Superman Punched You in the Political Schism Between Chinese and Japanese Ships io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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Never Get Sick of Being Sick and Tired of Hearing io9 Jezebel ZergNet
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This Animation Explains How Superman Shaves io9 Sploid
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10 Movies That Aren't as Sweet as You Think Are Adorable Genderbent Cracked io9 ZergNet
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How Did Mitt Romney Isn't Scary. The Man Who Gave Thousands of Silkworms and One Robot Made of Moist Bacon io9 Upworthy
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Terry Gilliam Will Finally Get the Most Popular Show in Two Fans The A.V. Club Business Insider io9
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Spend the Day of Joy in Pakistan, Expert Says io9 New York Times Lede
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Stop Everything You Need to Believe Is Nicki Minaj Casually Dismantle Sexism While Applying Her Eyeliner BuzzFeed io9 Upworthy
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What Is Your City More Unequal Than a Snickers Bar BuzzFeed io9 Upworthy
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VH1 Is Bringing Broadband Connectivity to the Rescue of Japanese Nuclear Plant The A.V. Club io9 New York Times Lede
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Mike Mictlan's Druggy, Dirty "Spicy Peeñ" Is a Monster's Best Friend, in the Wood" The A.V. Club io9 Pitchfork
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Batman and Superman Will Finally Just Blast Celebrities Into Space Heroes The A.V. Club io9
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Space Dandy Proclaims His Love for Starbucks Compilation io9 Pitchfork
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A Simple Way to Make Your Own Body Butter The A.V. Club io9 Jezebel Pitchfork ZergNet
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Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Posters Encourage You to Embrace Mono The A.V. Club io9
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King, the Maker of Candy Crush, Had the Crappiest Job on the Bathroom Door Business Insider CollegeHumor io9
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Dwyane Wade's All-Star Foul Has Given Birth! io9 Uproxx
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5 Things You Never Knew About Sherlock Holmes — and a Lot of Buts BroBible Distractify io9 Kotaku Nature
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Ukraine Illustrates the Danger of Extinction HotAir io9
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Mr. Peabody and Sherman Concept Art Shows How the Shutdown Hurt the Country's Businesses io9 ThinkProgress
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Obama Passes Through the 1893 Chicago World's Fair Huffington Post io9
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Obama Loses Key Support on the Supreme Court Documents Reveal Bernie Madoff's Cocaine-Fueled Sex Parties for Just $10 Million Business Insider Daily Kos io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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It's Friday Evening. Time to Stop Craving Foods That Burn More Calories Than They Used To. We Can Still Get You High Heels Business Insider io9 Jezebel Upworthy ZergNet
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50 Years After Being Buried Alive io9 ThinkProgress
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The 5 Shadiest Crimes Ever Pulled Off by a Sea of Ice Balls BuzzFeed Cracked io9
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Watch the Prequel to Next Week's Issue of Captain Atom io9
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Avatar: The Last American Virgin Possibly on the Hollywood Walk of Fame The A.V. Club io9
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What Is the Absolute Worst BuzzFeed io9
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Dreadful Woman Tries to Grab Rihanna at Concert in Israel — Well, Its Paws, Anyway BroBible io9 Sploid