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5,213 smashes / 8,438 upvotes / smashed from 14,656 real headlines
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"Red Eye" Star Cillian Murphy for Brutal Oppenheimer Scene Viewers Won't See & Says She Was Working Alone Uproxx WeSmirch
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Woman Takes Her Pink Car to Smash, Steal From L.A. County Sewers Los Angeles Times Western Journalism
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I Went Back to the Wagner Mutiny Business Insider
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What a Pathetic Excuse of a Big Fan of "The Weaponization of Loneliness" Business Insider The Federalist
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UK's Cocaine Capital Mapped as Shocking Figures Reveal Full List of the Week: Olive Garden Ziosk Heist
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Too Many Refunds for Democracy and Bitcoin Briefly Boing Boing CNBC Gizmodo New York Post
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Tell Me Why My Food Didn't Make It: Man Says He and His Dog Eats Boing Boing NBC News
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I'm Not Going to Deal With Louisiana Based Law Firm Breitbart BroBible The Sun
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Scientists May Have Role in Potential New Trump Administration ZergNet
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Newsletter: Getting Revenge on a Stock Market Has Slumped in Recent Years CNN
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I Don't Know What to Expect Big Oil Companies Are Reining in Holiday Bonuses CNN
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Is It a "Water Leak" CNN
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All You Do Is Write Letters: Marketing Expert Claims There's a New Feature That Will Help Grow Your Savings CNN
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Santos Says He Was Just a COINCIDENCE: Customer Says Worker Pocketed Her Debit Card CNN
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How Do I Have This Fantasy in My Head Perez Hilton
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Apple Is Set to Decertify Google Play Class Action Lawsuit Alleging It Stole People's Data Leak CNN
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Market Rally Loses Steam After Hiring Cools Off at 3, and I Didn't CNN
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I'm Going to Last Chance GameSpot
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Why Do I Get for Trying to Come Up With No Tools New York Times The Independent TwistedSifter
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Hell Must Be Going Through Her Purse. Did She Go Too Far? TwistedSifter
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"Too Early" to Tell if Someone Just Got a Vibe The Independent
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I Would Speak to Her Eyebrows
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The Absolute Best Corn Dogs in Front of Her Sight The Guardian ZergNet
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How to Get Cut of Any TikTok Deal. No One Believes I'm 51 – My Surgeon Was Rude and Nurses Didn't Seem to Get Mahomes Heavy.com New York Times The Sun
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Heartbroken Family of 4. They Spent Hours Locked in Safe Room (HOF-419) The Daily Mail PR Newswire
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I Just Got Hired at Starbucks Are You Getting the 4K Treatment GeekTyrant USA Today
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High School Esports Is So Popular, Why Do All These Women Hate Truman Capote? The Daily Beast The Federalist
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Prosecutor DeSantis Booted Says There's No Strawberry Juice Sold in Stores? It's Complicated DNyuz
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Why Would You Do Changes History? The Guardian
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George Clooney and Wife Keely Count Down to $1599.99 for Back to the Old Republic Hello! IGN.com
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I Genuinely Think People Are Getting New Names. Now Comes With Your DNA in Latin on 10-Minute "Dragon" Hacker News Kotaku Miami Herald Slate Spin USA Today
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Getting Your House Again: Woman Says Her Job as a 12.9-Inch iPad Pro Could Feature Landscape Face ID Camera MacRumors
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Barbie's Ryan Gosling Addresses Rumored I'm Just Ken Performance at the Register Asks for a Defamation Trial ComingSoon.net New York Times
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It Looks to Be One. Here's Why Water Daily Kos Lifehacker TMZ
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Fear of Being a "Pentagon Asset" Slate
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Customer Tries to Block Trump From Becoming President Again—but This Might The Raw Story Slate
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Bill Barr Blasts Trump as He Tries to See Who Could Go the Longest Without Showering Cele|bitchy The Raw Story
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Ellen DeGeneres Gave Her "used" Bread From Another Table. It Got Worse Cele|bitchy
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Billy Joel Is Back, and the Taylor Swift of Being Humiliated The A.V. Club The Raw Story
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You Really Can't Trust Your Money in the JRPG Sequel GamesRadar