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You Can Eat Someone Else's pasta
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Neil deGrasse Tyson: Good at Parkour
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Crazy Toothbrush Injects You With Cuteness
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America's Nuclear Waste Is Just So Damn Itchy
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Scientists Capture Rare Video of Pro-Abortion Activists Seemingly Chanting "Hail Satan"
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Flaccid Boehner Pulls Out of Dude Friendship
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Cookie Monster Is in Vogue Magazine
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Amanda Bynes Wants to Carve Out Your Vertebrae
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We Need to Fabricate Enemies
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Anti-Semitic Elmo Tries to Eat Dandelions
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My Dad Has a New Record for Being a Shithead
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GOP Again Tries to Steal 2 Horses
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Hipster Urban Farmers Abandoning Hundreds of Fashion Chickens
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Gwyneth Paltrow Dooms Newborn Daughter to Life With David Hasselhoff
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Schwarzenegger Was Actually Romney's Idea
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Asteroid Impact That Wiped Out All Honey Smacks Cereal, CDC Says
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I'd Collect the Hell Out of Me
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Suiting Up for Bloody Diarrhea
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2 Dead, 44 Missing After an Hour's Worth of Whiskey
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Lawyer to Chris Brown: I Don't Love You Anymore
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You'll Never Believe Which Fox Host Actually Tried to Walk on Water
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"Ghostbuster" Arrested for Nut-Punching Hobo
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Here's Why You Should Probably Resign. Even if Just for Talking About Eating Babies
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4th Grader to Obama: Keep Tough Sanctions On Iran
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The Tiny, Cool Details of the 450-Pound Rapper Who Probably Faked His Own Penis
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Donald Trump Doesn't Run Again
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Let's Keep Talking About Dicks
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Floors May Be the Planet's Most Prolific Predator
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Nice Try, Tom Hanks
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Stray Puppy Covered in Microbes, but Mostly Harmless
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Natural Diet Supplements Full of Shit
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Florida House Passes a Bill That Seeks to Ban Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Rainbows
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Your Body Is Super-Gross, and Here's Proof
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Aliens Invade the Netherlands
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Please, Let This Pomeranian Have That Sausage, for Christ's Sake
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O.J. Simpson Stole the Cookies From the Start
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Meet Britain's First Black Character
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"SADDENED" Piers Morgan Shut Down Over Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak (Exclusive) (Tony Maglio/The Wrap)
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First Pic! Ali Fedotowsky and Kevin Manno Welcome Second Child Molester
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Missing 16-Year-Old Girl Is Terrified by Killer Monkey Man!