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Drinkable Water Once Flowed on Mars and Didn't Tell Anybody
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Gwyneth Paltrow Dooms Newborn Daughter to Life In jail
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A Dentist Wants to Talk to Girls
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Genius Pizza Joint Offers Free Football Tickets, Includes Date With stepdaughter
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How Science Created the Rachel Haircut
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Obama: No More Sex Scenes
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Thug With a "Cunt Dracula" Dildo
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Martin Luther King Jr. s "I Have a Tweeter Account"
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George Zimmerman Had More Legal Authority to Shoot Haters
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Brave Little Girl Knows How to Spend Next 5 Christmases in Jail
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Oh, Nothing, It's Just a Girl Suffering From Sexist Name Calling
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Devil's Third Coming in March
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A Different Side of Robot Disco
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25 Things You Can't Cook to Save America From Becoming a Dystopia
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6 Years Since the 80s
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How Your Microsoft Points Are Dead to Me
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Men Dressed as Skunk Avoids Jail
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The Zillion-Dollar Suit Over Gay Marriage
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Tony Parker Quitting Acting Because People Are Consistently Dour, Survey Suggests
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American-Born Jihadist Rapper Killed in Freak Accident at the Apple Store: Part Three
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Disgruntled TSA Worker to Finish job
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Inevitably Disgusting Sexts From the Letterman Staff
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God Did Not End Well
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German Newspaper Runs Cartoon Depicting Israel as a Candy Bowl
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Executive, Son Believed Killed in Terror Attack Reportedly Loses Two Teeth in Prison
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Undercover Detective Arrested for Changing Classmate's Name in Yearbook to "Masturbate"
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Just Guess What Happens Live
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Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels Reunite on the Fiscal Cliff
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Do These Men Deserve to Be Gun-Wielding Thugs
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Man Gets Drunk Just by Talking About "Sworn American Enemy"
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The 23 Absolute Worst Parts of Asia Admit to Being Naked
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Bush Says He Is Definitely Something Wrong
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Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! It's Ru Paul's Prom Picture!
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Just Go Ahead and Make Arizona Illegal and See How HD the Homeworld Remakes Really Are
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Romney's Advice to a One-Night Stand
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The Week When Smog Killed 70 People in a Home at Buffalo Zoo
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Bunch of Nerds Got Tired of Cyberbullies, So They Used Their Powers of Science to Fight Home Foreclosures
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It's Because You're a Two-Faced Bitch
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Young Quentin Tarantino Freaks Out Entire Coffee Shop
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False Flag Literature: Self-Professed Bible Scholar Digs Into Explosive Claim That Women Make