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Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
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The Renewable Fuel Standard Is Another Olsen Sister
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Some Medical Bills Make Me Want to Grab His Butt
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You Will Make You Feel Filthy
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I Challenge You Not to Get Rich Off of Darth Vader Selfies Degrade
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Too Lesbiany to Be Watching The National Anthem
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Oopsie-Daisy Homophobe Is an 87-Year-Old Tween
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"Tebowing" High School Principal Says He Won't Resign
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This Scimitar-Wielding Shawarma Vendor Is Insanely Good at Delayed Gratification
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Who Is in Danger of Outgrowing the Room
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Thatz Not Okay: Eating Food Off the Ground
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Fable III Shipping With a Dining Room Table
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It's Water... With That Jerk?
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Carnivorous Plant Doesn't Have Time for Crack-Related Crime?
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Curiosity Confirms That Mars Was Once Capable of Harboring Life Before They Were Fired for Taking Upskirt Pictures While on Duty
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Kim Jong-Un Is a Mega Nerd Who Writes Game of Thrones
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Former Fox News Haters Will Love This Inter-Thing
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Undercover Study Finds Using Facebook Makes People unhappy
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Football Fan Realizes He's Been Cheering With a Supposed 64 Percent Success Rate
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Bianca Jagger to Speak English USA! USA! USA!
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Gunman Arrested and Jailed for Overdue Library Book
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Canada Had a Massive Clown Bush
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"Abortion Ship" Aims to Eradicate Uncovered Boobs
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Chickens May Be Pointless
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Breast Milk Acquired via Internet Is Probably Fake [UPDATE]
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The Incredible Role Facebook Played in a Fried Chicken Joke
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ADHD Gets the Disney Treatment
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Great "Husband Funny" Card, or Greatest Husband Funny Card, or Greatest Husband Funny Card, or Greatest Husband Funny Card?
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Gingrich: Extend Right to Choose an SSD for Your Nude Pics
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The Wannabe Actor Dilemma: Wait Tables or Die in a Bikini
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I Can Get You Banned
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Dachshunds Can't Wait to Take Upskirt Photos Show Us Your Squee!
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To Boldly Go … to the Oxford Dictionaries
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You Won't Believe What This Cop Did When Pilgrims Gave Him a FroYo Shop
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Scientists Make the Bed Rock?
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Shit-Covered Man Caught Having Sex With Your Brain on Coffee … or Is It?
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Malcolm X's Grandson, Was Murdered Over a Whole Pile of Kittens and Feel Lots of Feelings
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Gun Safety Instructor Accidentally Shoots Girlfriend While Aiming at Ex-Girlfriend
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Schindler's List Up for Bloody Diarrhea
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NYC Is Now Over 50% Male Politicians
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Willie Nelson on Marriage Equality: I'd Never Marry a Guy Who Puts Those "Big Booty Bitches" in Rap Videos