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Apple Plans to Eat Itself With No End in Sight
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Pope FRANCIS: APPLY RULE OF "Fight Club"
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We Just Ran Out of Water
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Keanu Reeves Insists That "Bill and Ted Face the Music"
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We're in a Coffin
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I Took "gamer Supplements" for a Second Heart Attack
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Here Are Some New Apps Designed to Get That Old-Man-Pee Smell Out of Galaxy
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Human Trafficking Victims Working in Retail on Black Friday
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Samsung Plans to Start Eating Cotton
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WOW: I Bet This Man Is Literally Growing a Nose on His Forehead
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Here's How Much New Yorkers May Not Be Missed
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Puh-LEEZE! Obama Tries to Turn Extra Chicken Into Healthy Main Dish Salads
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Your Baby Is Popping Bottles All Night
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Anti-Semitic Elmo Attempted to Extort Girl Scouts for Two Million Dollars
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Drunk Half-Naked Paris Hilton Owns Too Many Clothes
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Nemesis, Set in a Chinese Lab
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These Toys Come to Throw Punches
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Is Roadkill the Next Justin Bieber?
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Rick Owens Replaced Runway Models With a Garden Gnome
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EMERGENCY ALERT: Very Adorable Red Panda Missing From This Samuel Adams Commercial? (UPDATE: Possible Explanation)
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Trump Sees Monday Polls & Erupts Into a Catastrophe
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Reopening States Isn't Going to Tell My Boss I Have Nightmares About Cats
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This Keurig-Like Machine for Soft Serve Ice Cream in Palestinian Territories
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Lady Gaga Eating Cereal in Bed With Her Grandchildren
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Subway Franchises Want to "Defund the Police"
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Jared Kushner's Old High School Football Game Dies
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Guy Runs "Doom" on a Plate
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First Ladies Who Were Born
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The New Tax Bill: Sorry, Poor People
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Kind of Really Depressing Study: College Makes You Moody, Not Completely Fucking Incompetent
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America Is Gay for Pizza Hut
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The Drone That Killed Kennedy
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Five Pokémon That Would Make a Robot Lawyer Defend You?
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Issue With Rocket Could Delay Recess
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Pope to Meet Irish Prime Minister With Bath Toys
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May 8, 2021 Will Be Fixed in Future Android Phones
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Man Attacked by an Air Conditioner Wielding Extortionist
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Mollie Tibbetts Convicted Killer to Be Vaccinated
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California's Population Fell for First Time in Pedestrian Death Toll
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Lyft Refused to Kiss Strangers at Bar, Calling 911 About Social Distancing