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Saved Headlines
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"Willy Wonka" Is Getting a Blowjob
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Students Can't Name a Single Thing
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Skip School Every Friday, Get Rewarded With a Dead HORSE
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Smell Like a Pirate Day
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The Master Perfumer That Smells Like Ass
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Where Is God When Your Chinchilla Eats Your Homework
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Horse Wanders Into Garage, Attacks NYPD Detective
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Software Made Me "Really Angry"
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Cute Mini Skirts That Can Smell Human Fear
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Biden Rides Wave of Locusts
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Leave the Seat Up to Poo
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Coronavirus Isn't So Bad, You Guys Have Fun, OK?
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11 Chilling Facts About Corgis
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I Really Need a Reboot
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I'm Going to Start Pushing Cannibalism as a Thing Now to Solve Crimes
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AssBallsDick in the Running for National Book Awards
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Katy Perry Demands Death by Elevator
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Trump Has No Medicinal Value
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"The Real Slim Shady" Played on a Horse
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Whoopee! DoorDash Raises Minimum Pay From $1 to $2 Million
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Get a Load of This Administration
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Trump to Honor the Lollipop Guild
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Shatner to Give Birth
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People Have Worms in Their Mouths
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Taking Nudes Helped Me Survive Tragedy
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Trump Attorney Says Trump Likely to Die Prematurely
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Four New Ways to Use the Bathroom
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It's No Nut November Help Me
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We Want to Vomit
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My Three-Month-Old's Guide to the F*cking White House
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How to Make Meat Fun Again
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Trump Says He Was Wrong About Every Foreign Policy Decision!
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Pluto Is Now Available for Purchase
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A "Blue Wave" Is Probably Coming. Or Maybe We Should Arm Preschoolers
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Bill Clinton: I Had Sex With Monica Lewinsky to Cope With Coronavirus Fallout
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Eight-Year-Old Boy Becomes Youngest Person to Die
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Police Therapy Dog Identified as Russian Spy, Report Says
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"Dreaming" Octopus Puts on Cat Ears
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The Duckling Has Been Arrested
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Apple Creating Portal to Another Dimension