purplegirl

Comments

Gravity Doesn't Exist. There Is Nowhere to Hide Military Planes

purplegirl

Gravity doesn't exist. It is just that the entire world sucks.

Man Sentenced to 5 Years Without Eating or Drinking ANYTHING

purplegirl

Why that long? He won't last a week.

ANTARCTICA Is Getting a Girlfriend

purplegirl

But isn't Antarctica a girl, and a frigid one at that? Well, maybe a girlfriend is what she needs.

Woah, Looks Like Vin Diesel Might Still Be Useful

purplegirl

Now, will there ever be a celebrity named Van Gasoline?

Saturn Has a Holographic Paint Job

purplegirl

Isn't there any place where there are no graffiti taggers? What will they do next, deface the moon? Could you imagine looking up at the moon and seeing that someone carved a middle finger on it?

Who WANTS to Join a Gang

purplegirl

Just imagine if there were Purple people....they would likely have one of the most violet gangs every.

London Bridge Is Blown to Bits

purplegirl

So a new kids' song? "London Bridge is blown to bits, blown to bits, blown to bits. London Bridge is blown to bits, my fair lady."

Virginia Man Stops Traffic to Help You Eat That Sandwich...

purplegirl

Reminds me of the Florida man who stopped traffic by eating a pancake in the middle of a highway.

Missing Woman's Relatives Find Missing Man's Body in New Light Bulb

purplegirl

Talk about a giant light bulb!

Your Cremated Loved One's Ashes Can Be Considered a "Deadly Weapon"

purplegirl

At least the urn can be.

This Single Vaccine Could Protect Against Racism

purplegirl

How about a vaccine to protect against ghetto behavior? That would stop a lot of so-called "racism."

Cloudy With a s**t Sandwich

purplegirl

Not a forecast I'd want.

She Said She Was Murdered, Police Say Hallo

purplegirl

Ghosts don't make good witnesses in court.

Wigs to Be Given Legal Human Status

purplegirl

Then things will be quite hairy to be sure.

7 March Video Games About Punching Nazis and Hitting Them With Stuff

purplegirl

So commit violence against those you find hateful? Yeah, that's a winner.

NBA Teams Reportedly Want to F*ck

purplegirl

This is news? NBA is full of sexual predators and batterers.

Boy, 16, Shot in the Face, Internet Celebrates

purplegirl

Or maybe the kid was a very bad bully or sex offender. What if the 16-year-old was shot in the face while raping?

Trans Kids Can Be the Next Big Epidemic

purplegirl

No epidemic. Anti-trans bigots are the epidemic, and I'm saying this as a conservative.

Emma Watson on the Performance of Musical Despite Racial Slur

purplegirl

Was the song by Johnny Rebel? "We don't want ******* in our schools, say no to integration. Keep those ******* in their place, we'll have a better nation."

Atheist Forces School to Remove Brain Tumor

purplegirl

Better than making them remove the Ten Commandments display; just remove his brain tumor that makes him a Christianophobe.

Preview: Footwear Is a Real Asshole

purplegirl

Who got kicked in the bum?

Please Stop Asking Me Why I Sleep Straight

purplegirl

You sleep straight because you are not queer.

17-Year-Old Girl Missing From the World – Live Coverage

purplegirl

Yes. How would you know they are missing from the world if they are missing from the world since you cannot prove a negative? And how can you cover what is missing?

Nokia to Buy Drugs

purplegirl

Will stoned developers make better phones?

Does Smoking Weed Lead to Disappointment

purplegirl

Only after your stash is gone...

Dogs Are Getting Tired of Hypocrisy

purplegirl

So don't tell them to not bark and then start barking.

Peepholes Found in Freezer

purplegirl

Perverted pork chops?

Before 9/11, THIS Horrific Shark Tale Is What Teddy Roosevelt Wrote in His Underwear

purplegirl

That's talented if you can poop out writing.

Barack Obama Is Wearing His Face

purplegirl

Won't he be called a racist for wearing blackface?

A Bus-Sized Asteroid Is Set to Elect Hillary?

purplegirl

Hillary is a bus-sized hemorrhoid!

No, Starbucks Juice Drinks Aren't Full of Shit

purplegirl

No feces? Then are they full of urine?

Sometimes You Gotta Let Them Eat You-Know-What

purplegirl

Which you-know-what? Feces or vagina?

Pussy Gets Destroyed by an Instrument

purplegirl

What kind of horn did you shove up there?

COLLEGE SOCIALIST GROUP Incites Children to Change Genders

purplegirl

Just how do you incite anyone to change genders?

Man Fatally Struck by Lightning During Event, Finishes Anyway

purplegirl

These are fake headlines. This is funny because it suggests a zombie finished a sporting event.

Trans Kids Can Sleep Anywhere

purplegirl

One of the source headlines posits a good question. Should an FtM boy, let alone a penised boy, join the scouts and get diddled?

Facebook Dead at 43

purplegirl

RIH Facebook!

Ireland Passes Law to Prevent Aging

purplegirl

Nah, they'll just die in prison for breaking the law.

Nintendo Kills the Wii U, at Least 35 Killed, 40 Injured

purplegirl

More cheating.

Peepee Poopoo Man Arrested

purplegirl

Someone is cheating.