nearlydyed

Saved Headlines
336
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Facebook Rolls Out Missiles, Other Weaponry at Annual Parade
302
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CIA, FBI Launch Manhunt for a Stupid Guy
226
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Nothing Is Wrong With My Wife
218
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4000 Year Old F**k Boi. Damn Fine
199
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Its Not That Complicated Guys I'm So Hungry
149
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Google's Latest Attempt to Improve Your Masturbation Routine
138
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Woman Jumps From Moving UBER to Avoid Awkwardness
132
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National Security Is the New Mario Kart
102
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Trump Growing Increasingly Frustrated at Wolves
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Samsung Is Prepping to Release Prisoners
96
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Now It'll Cost You $20 to Hike Up Yosemite's Half Dome, if You're a Fuckboy
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Sheriff: Officer Kills Man Who Can See Through Walls
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Tim Cook Appears to Have ‘twisted’ Living Babies’ Heads Off Their Necks
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This Is My New Mom Who Is Unable to Sell Your Unwanted Crap
63
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Trump: We Have All the Sunscreen!
53
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Motorcyclist Gets Hit by Apple Quietly
47
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"Russian Spy" Working at a Planet Fitness
40
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Bury Underwear in Your Guacamole
34
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McHenry County College Student to Pull Feds Out of Larger Giraffe's Vagina
28
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Death Becomes a Mother?
23
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Every KISS BEGINS WITH an Xbox One X, or Nintendo Switch
16
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Rwanda Bans All Skin Types
15
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Americans Prefer to Remain Ignorant
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3 Things You'll Notice if Your Piss Smells Like Fried Chicken
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Pig With Ice Cream Flavor
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Same-Sex Penguin Couple Is Charged in Murder-For-Hire Plot
11
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Alzheimer's Linked to Deforestation
11
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Woman, Baby Fall in Love With Whiskey
11
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Rovers on Asteroid Rovers on Asteroid Rovers on Simulated Terrain
10
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Charlie and the Great Depression
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Virginia Teacher Fired for Refusing to Wax His Male Genitalia
10
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Sometimes You Just Need to Fight With Trump Spontaneously
10
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Why People Are Disgusting
10
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I'm Non-Binary and I Can't Play Pac-Man
9
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Dwarf Planet Has Massive Stomach Tumor Removed After 13 Years
9
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Our Solar System Is Broken
8
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👉 Those Are My Feet!
8
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Man Charged in Killing of His Cat Named "Survivor"
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Police Say Yeah F**k Health Care Access
7
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Trump Wants to Build a Toilet Seat