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Saved Headlines
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33 Signs You're a New Particle, Likely the Higgs Boson
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NASA Uses 3D Printing to Make a Goddamn Omelet
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Old, Masturbating McDonald's Customer Tried to Give Speech on Senate Floor
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Obama: "Military Will Be Called Both Mighty and Morphin"
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Deion Sanders I Didn't Split Milkshake With Bieber That's Gay
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George Clooney Joked About Ironing His Balls and Now Unemployment Benefits Sharply Increase
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President Obama: "Trayvon Martin Could Have Been a Belieber"
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Testicle-Biting Fish Could Skew Scuba Surveys
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I Can't Stop Apologizing!
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Breastfeeding "Unlikely" to Prevent Sexual Assault
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Equal Pay: Like Not Spanking Your Secretary
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Here Is a Beach
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Sen. Daniel Inouye Remembered as Politician, Humanitarian, Man of Steel
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My Apologies to the Moon
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Sleepy Kitty Is the Worst. SHRIMP
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The Best and Worst Television Moments of the Year Are God Awful
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Roboticists Discover the Secret Atheist Plan to Develop Electric Vehicles
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Human Rights Group Welcomes Obama's Decision to Send His Kids to Eat a Mini Cupcake at Lane Bryant Opening
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Gruesome Details About Your Tits
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Choose Your Own Bra
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If the Internet Calls
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Hey You Over There, Find Me
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The Ancient Chinese Secret to Living a More Miserable Christmas Than You
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Republican Congressman Tries to Return to Normal
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Did You Know I Can't Prove These Aren't Photoshopped, but I Have Smoked Crack in Our Son's Room!
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25 More Rappers Who Need to Know Anyone Can Find Your Bikini Pics With Ease
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Police Draw Guns on George Carlin
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The Incredibly Awesome Way One British Man Is Dressed as Optimus Prime Riding Grimlock
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Barbara Walters Sorry, I Won't Talk About Batman Bookshelves
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9th and 10th Companies Drop ALEC Baldwin
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Van Helsing: Slightly Better Than Most Beer Commercials
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I'm Never Going Back to Your Poor, Gentle, Sweet, Old Grandma
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Kelly Rowland Can't Stop Watching TV Shows
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25 Truths About Living in NYC, as Told by "Addams Family VALUES"
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Solange Grooves in an RV
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Jon Cryer's Son Needs $88k/Month to Stop Hating
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This Is a Taylor Swift
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Yo, Let's Text for a Sweet On-Screen Romance
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27 Signs You Came From Gorillas
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5 Examples of Why We Need More Income Inequality