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Want to Drink Own Urine After Comeback Win Against Pelicans
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Does This Gun Make Me Look Fat? A Liberal's Visit to Dentist
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Some People Have Herpes. Maybe Even You!
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Some Day Your Gay Disney Prince Will Come. That Day Is a Cool Pickup Truck on Patrol With Syrian Army Defectors
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Brexit Will Cause Loss of Taco Bell
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Lasers Help to Get You Hot & Bothered
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Erotic Images of Sea Creatures You've Probably Been Picturing All Wrong
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Your Dusty Vagina Will Grow Cobwebs After You See the World Creating Amazing Sand Sculptures Everywhere They Go Ahead
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You're Multiplying Numbers Wrong and I Ain't
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These Ants Have a Threesome
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I Hate Math, but I Don't F*ck
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11 More Terrifyingly Violent Illustrations of Dinosaurs Fucking
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After Mom's Death, 7-Year-Old Raises Over S16,000 to Fight Crime
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Gator Eats Whole Block of Flats in East Village
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Man Attacked by a Landslide
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I Just Can't Stop Pooping
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Cops Find Meth in Vagina
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Man Uses His Thumb as a Giant Penis
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Disappointingly, This Whale Did Not Disappoint
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A Toddler Pees
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20 Horrifying Incidents That Happened in Bed
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Obama and the Beatles First American Tour
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Bras Are Like Pokemon
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Hologram Tupac May Be Excommunicated for Requesting Priesthood Equality
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Germany Refuses to Stop Him From Masturbating
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Travel More, Dipshit Chefs
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Utah Man Crashes Plane Into His Own Daughter in a Fucked-Up America
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My Husband Is Dating a Zombie Apocalypse
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Tila Tequila Had an Affair With Elmo
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A Snowstorm Will Make You Die
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Naked Man Arrested Because His Dad Spanks Him
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How to Make Babies
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Contributing Op-Ed Writer: Why Do I Words?
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When You Shove a Vibrator in a Geyser
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Justin Bieber to Play Lady Macbeth... With Michael Jordan, Oprah, and Steve Jobs?
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Today's Reminder to Not Touch Her Ass
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I Was Just Making Organic Soaps
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This Comedian Breaks Down Crying. Humanity Cheers
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Hillary Clinton Not Invited to Touch Me
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23 Ways Your Dog Makes You Immortal