Headline Smasher

Savage

Don't mess with Texas.

I can't stop laughing at this one.

A new record!

rip family and friends

*Eardrum-shattering, sonic boom levels of ARFing intensifies*

No I won’t. Not 2018’s at least

the pie is a lie

I didn't even think this was one of my funnier ones. :|

This happened one Halloween when I was in high school.

Parthenogenesis activate!

Don’t tell me what to do!

Great! I’ll take seven of them.

They’ll break your teeth!

I can't say this is all that much weirder than the original headline. But whatever.

They already have.

Well, he was a target of the #MeToo movement...

Nooooo!

my favorite of David Lynch's short films

Draw me like one of your French horns

Mainly because of a sexual abuse uproar.

Also, cake.

Delete this

...Maduro is no longer president. How would that sound?

Eeyore's Birthday Party is an Austin tradition and a body was found fairly close to the event. This isn't any weirder than what actually happened.

Yeah?

How dare you? How DARE you? HOW DARE YOU?!?

For example, it could be about Hillary Clinton quietly building a gaming PC.

This could be Hillary Clinton quietly building a gaming PC all over again.

John McCain Is Getting Ready for Hell

£? The Yankees are an American team going to Indonesia right now!

I mean, it is unexpected...

Your days are numbered, E. Coli.

Plot twist: It's a medication nicknamed "god."

In other words, it looks like a previous Headline Smasher headline.

The Holocaust was a tragedy, indeed.

Inconceivable!

What not to say on a date.

I would buy this.

This is my single favorite headline I've gotten so far, but apparently no one else finds it as hilarious as I do.