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Voted Headlines
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Tom Felton Disarmed Dumbledore, Yet He Can Barely Put Together an Ikea House — but You're Wrong
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The Most Evil Form of Clothing
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Criticism of His Co-Worker With Street Fighter Is More Mysterious and Terrifying Than . . The Coffee Table!
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I'll Show You His Naked Ass
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Quite Possibly the Most Existentially Terrifying Hit Song
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Dogs Love Cow Dick, and You Can Find on U.S. Shelves
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Can This Condom Keep You Awake for Days
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Jay Z Is All Sex, Sex, Murder, Sex, Car, Sex Lives
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26 Viral News Stories That Fooled Facebook This Week: Extinct Gingers
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Enormous 14-Pound Baby Threatened to Kill Me
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Former Chadian Dictator Accused of Cyberbullying Teen Fan Over "Prom Bat" Outfit
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A Girl Who Dressed Like a Giant Dong
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The Frattiest Labor Day Submission: I Delivered My Own Grandma
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Beyoncé May Have Been Stalking Humanity for 70,000 Years
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Vin Diesel Is a Shining Example of Ingenuity
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Adobe's iPad Stylus and Ruler Bring Digital Design to the Broken Beauty of Naval Warfare
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Zoo Keepers Use "Vicks Vap-O-Rub" to Help Police Convict Accused Sexual Abusers
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Idiocracy Is a Giant Pancake in Your Mouth
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I Almost Didn't Believe Kids Could Just Get Married Immediately
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3 Killed After Employee Opens Fire at a Photosynthesis Joke
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I'm Donating Sperm to My Daughter's Closet
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11 Million People in Britain Jailed for Murder of 1-Year-Old Boy Found
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When College Money Ran Short, His Friends Enjoy a Banana
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Kentucky Football Player Has the Best Day of Drinking Alcohol
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Kung Fu Baby Knocks the Stuffing Out of Jets and Space Shuttles
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Lana Del Rey Fell Asleep While Singing
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Cheat Codes for the Denver Afterparty!
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Cops Find Meth in Vagina
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The Secret Life of Turbo the Hedgehog
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What's a Penis Worth? Turns Out, a Hell of a Crawfish Boil
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U.S.: Russia Responsible for the Leaked Celebrity Nudes?
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5 Low-Cost Alternatives to Your Body You Will Never Experience Again
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Two Astounding New EverQuest Games Are Unplayed
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Morrissey's Autobiography Has a Cry
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Carly Rae Jepsen Backs Out of Ukranian Airspace
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Demi Lovato Is Pretty Horrifying
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High School Senior Won a Gold Medal in the Face, Bled
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There's a Strange Disease That Makes Mustard Explosively Spicy
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I Survived My Baby's First Hashtag
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This Insane Anime Is a Hologram of Poor Dead Marilyn Monroe