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Voted Headlines
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The Decemberists Announce New Year's Eve
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How Frank Zappa Became the Unofficial Tooth Fairy
7
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Covergirl's New Makeup Collection Solely Caters to People With Delusional Beliefs
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John C. Reilly and the Burden of Being Held Hostage
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Newt Gingrich Weighs in on My Lying Skills
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Democrats Plan Major Gun Control Joke
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Came for Porn, Got a Promotion
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YouTuber Logan Paul Isn't a Flat Earther, but He's Moved on to "Other Wonderful Things"
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NORAD Tracks Santa's Christmas Flight as He Heads to Trial
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Stolen Picasso Painting Found in Background of NBA Trading Card
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I'll Probably Kill Myself Tonight but the French Have Urgent Needs
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Drake Reveals New Giant Dinosaur Discovered in Virginia Has Died
180
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Ebola Returns as a Prank
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Dolphin Found Shot Dead in "Apparent Suicide"
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Report: The U.S. Ends
128
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Tsunami Triggered by MEME
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Donald Trump Moves to Kill Himself
189
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TIME for a Potato—but Why?
243
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Tempted to Eat More Garbage
249
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A White Man (BARF)
80
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Barbie's Not the Only Vampire Politician
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Where Is God When Your Chinchilla Eats Your Homework
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Santa Arrested in Vehicle Attack Outside L.A. Synagogue
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I Will Be the Worst Christmas Present
213
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Hillary Clinton Still Getting DLC After Six Years
117
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Beloved Classic Car Bombs
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Hebrews Chapt. 7 Nuts
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Trust Me, It Will Make You Forget the USS Liberty!
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Bob Barker Rushed to Hospital After Robot Accidentally Unleashes Bear Spray
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Coalition, Yemen Rebels Agree on Absolutely Anything. Except This
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Monopoly Man in a Vending Machine
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I Think It's Time You Open the Bathroom Door
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Are Humans Actually Supposed to Like My Ding Ding
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School Named Among World's Best Nude Beaches
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New Dinosaur Species Discovered in This Airport Prayer Room
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How to Rake Leaves on a Bicycle
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Russian Roulette With Your Kids How to Make Your Roommates Uncomfortable
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"Modern" Santa Should Be Taking More Risks
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UK Weather: Black Ice and KKK
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Women With Heart Emergencies Less Likely to Die in Crash of Portuguese Medical Emergency Helicopter