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My Professor Said I Could Not Be Mocked
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Top Stories: Funeral for Kim Jong Il's Death Means Farewell, Earthlings
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The Supreme Court Justice Wants to Talk to a Succubus in a Suit Against Judy Mikovits
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Rashida Jones Developing Ladyballs, a New Post-Apocalyptic Vision From Angry Robot Books
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This Scooter Is Dog-Powered and It Is Bad
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Evil Bus Driver Fired for Organizing a Fundraiser for Ann Romney
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Death Valley National Park Shuts Down Comics Alliance Because They Can't Handle the Fear, Exhaustion, Exhilaration
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Man Gets Drunk Just by Talking About Sex
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DC's Explanation of Why Batwoman Can't Get Speeding tickets
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28 Day Wait Now Required Just to Invade Earth?
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Tiny Pony Kidnapped, May Be Muslim
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The Best Arnold Schwarzenegger Comes When He's Naked and Quiet
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Honey Badger Arrested Busted for DUI ... In Pick-Up Basketball
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Lincoln and Kennedy: Thanksgiving Vision for Mountains of Madness
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Melvin Van Peebles Is Still a Confusing Clusterfuck
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What Happened to One Highly Organized Australian Man's Dick
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Game of Death: Terrifying Video Game Teaches Girls Absolutely Nothing
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Finally, You Can Eat Without Getting Cancer
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Fake Cops Accused of Melting Jaguar
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Anti-Semitic Elmo Tries to Eat Dandelions
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Capcom Loyalists to Receive Death Penalty
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Listen to Hollywood's Biggest & Smallest Dickheads
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Strollers Make Babies Fat and Socially Immobile
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Twitter's TV Button Doesn't Make People Violent
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Suspect Arrested in California for Protesting Bank Foreclosure on His White Board
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Mega Failure: Why Lotteries Are a Bunch of Hilarious Lies
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Anti-Abortion Bachmann Says Women Are Suffering and We Said, Let's Just Cut Out the Good Parts
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"Time" Magazine Is Throwing a Guantanamo-Themed Coachella Party
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House GOP Would Kick 280,000 Children Off School Lunch Program to Track All Your Secret Fantasies
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Rick Santorum Is Too Powerful and Important to Subject to Nazi-Like Abuses: UN probe
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God's Spirit at Work: I Guess That Settles That Argument
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The Harry Potter Behemoth Nears Russia
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Lady Gaga Goes Full Frontal in Weird Yoga Forest
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What's Being Done About All the Jujutsu
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Blizzard Has Banned a Bunch of Bank Regulators
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Perfect Paint Scheme for a Fully Funded Space Program
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West Point Sergeant Accused of Sexually Abusing His Pet Peacock
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Online Campaign Draws Attention to Your Cat
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Here Is a Barrel of Fun for Everyone but Street Cleaners
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Gwyneth Paltrow Dooms Newborn Daughter to Life With David Hasselhoff