ahktenzero

Saved Headlines
367
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Senate Rejects Bid to Kill Me
316
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It's Time for War, and Also Bees
305
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Why I Do Not Want to Wear Pants
293
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2.8 Million People Are Actually Huge Assholes
285
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This Guy Walks Around My College With This Fucking Pencil
265
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Sheriff's Deputy Secretly Pepper Sprayed Teen's Pizza, Made Him Immortal
259
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Matt Damon Has a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence
230
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Cap'n Crunch Forced to Convert to Mormonism
212
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UPDATED: Ozzy Osbourne Is Rapidly Dissolving
204
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15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You're an Asshole
195
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41,000,006 Reasons Why Santa Is Sexy
192
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Us Government Made Up Solely of Old, Straight, White Men
187
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Climate Change Will Be HELLA FUN!
184
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Unicorn Lair Discovered in Antarctica
182
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Tutankhamun May Have Covered-Up Staffers Prostitution, Drug Activity
180
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28 Day Wait Now Required Just to Invade Earth?
175
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Under Obamacare, Disney World Builds a Screaming Walk-In Vagina
144
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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested for Carrying Archie Comics
143
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Canada Had a Mexican Accent for 4 Months
143
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I Hate My Boobs and My Husband
142
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Drunk Man Gets Divorced From His Face
132
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Here's the Racist Band That Only Sings About Pizza
118
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23 Signs You Can't Distinguish Your Pastor From an F-18
114
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It's Time to Make Edible Cat Litter
114
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Keep Your Guinea Pig Protected With a GRENADE
109
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Dog Forced to Sign People Up For ObamaCare
103
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Dog Forced to Apologize Like a Chicken
100
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NSA Officers Spy on Octopus Lovin
92
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Please Stop Telling Us When to Get You Killed
90
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Billionaires in the Sewers?
89
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It Takes Ikea Five Years to Design a Cool-Ass Alien Spaceship?
89
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Ellen Demonstrates the Proper Way to Deflect Killer Asteroids
88
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Rich People to Appear Constantly Drunk for Two years
85
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Van Helsing: Slightly Better Than Having a 4-Hour-Long Painful Boner
83
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Orphaned Tiger Cubs Find a Bra That Fits
82
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CNN Conducts 12 Minute Interview With a Missile
81
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New IRS Head Is an Evil Whore
81
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Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Children, and I Fell for It...
80
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Bodyguard Chokes Anthony Kiedis After Mistaking Him for Matt Damon: "Close Enough"
73
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Pope John Paul II and John Havlicek, Shirtless and Wearing Sombreros