ahktenzero

Saved Headlines
366
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Senate Rejects Bid to Kill Me
315
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It's Time for War, and Also Bees
304
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Why I Do Not Want to Wear Pants
292
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2.8 Million People Are Actually Huge Assholes
285
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This Guy Walks Around My College With This Fucking Pencil
265
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Sheriff's Deputy Secretly Pepper Sprayed Teen's Pizza, Made Him Immortal
258
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Matt Damon Has a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence
229
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Cap'n Crunch Forced to Convert to Mormonism
211
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UPDATED: Ozzy Osbourne Is Rapidly Dissolving
203
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15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You're an Asshole
194
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41,000,006 Reasons Why Santa Is Sexy
191
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Us Government Made Up Solely of Old, Straight, White Men
186
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Climate Change Will Be HELLA FUN!
183
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Unicorn Lair Discovered in Antarctica
181
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Tutankhamun May Have Covered-Up Staffers Prostitution, Drug Activity
179
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28 Day Wait Now Required Just to Invade Earth?
174
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Under Obamacare, Disney World Builds a Screaming Walk-In Vagina
144
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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested for Carrying Archie Comics
143
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Canada Had a Mexican Accent for 4 Months
142
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I Hate My Boobs and My Husband
141
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Drunk Man Gets Divorced From His Face
132
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Here's the Racist Band That Only Sings About Pizza
117
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23 Signs You Can't Distinguish Your Pastor From an F-18
117
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Anderson Cooper Is Never Too Busy Eating His Wife's Pussy to Eat Pomegranate Seeds
114
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Keep Your Guinea Pig Protected With a GRENADE
113
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It's Time to Make Edible Cat Litter
108
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Dog Forced to Sign People Up For ObamaCare
102
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Dog Forced to Apologize Like a Chicken
99
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NSA Officers Spy on Octopus Lovin
91
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Please Stop Telling Us When to Get You Killed
89
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Billionaires in the Sewers?
88
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It Takes Ikea Five Years to Design a Cool-Ass Alien Spaceship?
88
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Ellen Demonstrates the Proper Way to Deflect Killer Asteroids
87
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Rich People to Appear Constantly Drunk for Two years
84
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Van Helsing: Slightly Better Than Having a 4-Hour-Long Painful Boner
83
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Orphaned Tiger Cubs Find a Bra That Fits
81
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CNN Conducts 12 Minute Interview With a Missile
80
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New IRS Head Is an Evil Whore
80
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Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Children, and I Fell for It...
79
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Bodyguard Chokes Anthony Kiedis After Mistaking Him for Matt Damon: "Close Enough"