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49,125 smashes / 120,996 upvotes / smashed from 35,097 real headlines
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Mutant Hunter Q&A With Michael Jordan, Oprah, and Steve Jobs? io9 Upworthy
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This Crazy New Man-Made Materials That Will Make Your Skin BuzzFeed io9 Upworthy
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There Is a "Definite Murder Situation" BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel
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When Will Doug Jones Alien Get a Day of Your Dong? io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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The Worst Episode of Your Love Life BuzzFeed Defamer io9
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The Western Black Rhino Is Extinct (Again), and It's Delightful io9 Jezebel
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David Simon, Creator of Samurai Cat Neckties io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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Warm Bodies Is Romeo and Juliet and Zombies, Here's a Crazy High-Resolution GIF From Space Shot Gawker io9 NPR Two Way Upworthy
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First Official Picture of the Feral, Naked Men You Can Imagine … and Debate BuzzFeed io9 New York Times Lede Upworthy
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Poorly Translated Indian James Bond Movies io9
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Photographic Proof That All Art Should Be Banned Forever BuzzFeed io9
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Adele Is Rich as Balls and on Time to Be Banned at Thanksgiving as a Kid? BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede Upworthy
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If You Use Your Bag of Dog Turds on a Donkey Kong BuzzFeed io9 Kotaku Nature Upworthy
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What Would Celebrities Look Like When You Offer New Yorkers Free Cupcakes BuzzFeed io9 Upworthy
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INFOGRAPHIC: Why Transgender Awareness Week Is Even More Miserable io9 Upworthy
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The Strange History of the Worst Sidekick Ever? io9 Jezebel
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NASA Is Creating the Coldest Spot in Universe Drudge Report io9
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Drudge Blamed for Creating "Monster" to Battle Aquaman and Wonder Woman in Her Subconscious io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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The Next Mr. Snuffleupagus at the Hunger Games Makeup Tutorial Get You Out -- but Will It Stay Gold? io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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This True Blood Rumor Is True, We May Have Just Rewritten the Book of Jezebel: T Is for Zits io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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If You Have to Tell Me My Genetic Brain Disorder io9 Upworthy
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World's Rarest Whale Is Finally Going to Get Worse: National Security Expert Defamer Drudge Report io9 The Blaze
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Fox News Hack Has a New Look for the Common Good Or something Daily Kos HotAir io9 Kotaku
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And Now Kids Find Out Santa Isn't Real? Gawker io9 Jezebel
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Does Eating for a Year. Here's What Obamacare Will Do That Disgusting CNS News io9 Upworthy
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Brian De Palma's New Movie Has Officially Been Renamed Tomorrowland io9 Jezebel
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Women Forced to Make Things Explode Daily Kos io9 Jezebel The Blaze
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The Girl With the New Corvette Stingray Will Come With Me to Always Want to Destroy Earth Gizmodo Hacker News io9 Upworthy
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Interview With Cookie Monster With a Children's Pop-Up Book Into a Godless Heckhole (Because Hell Isn't Real) BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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The Most Shocking Revelations From the Future Theme Song BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel
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Japan Solves Your Giant Boobs Are in Trouble io9 Jezebel
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Why Investors Are So Accurate, Why Do Geeks Like Kinky Sex? BuzzFeed io9 Upworthy
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How Al Gore Could Have Been Poisoned io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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Latest Updates on Egypt's Political Crisis in a Theater Full of Sex, Blood, and More Fun Stuff io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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Are Gut Bacteria the Reason We're All Thinking io9 Upworthy
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Two Years Ago, a Legendary Battle of Jackals, Bigfoot and "Cavemen" io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede Upworthy
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The Law — Hip Hop-Style — and It's Hysterical. Don't Try This at Home! FaithIt io9
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Ian McKellen Is Your Inner Potato? BuzzFeed io9
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Watch the World Leaders in a Lovely Eye Infection BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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Helpful Chart for Anyone Who'd Like to Fly Me io9 New York Times Lede Upworthy