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49,125 smashes / 120,996 upvotes / smashed from 35,097 real headlines
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Democrats Will Be This Creeped Out by Anything in Disney's Free Mobile Holiday Present BuzzFeed Daily Kos io9 Kotaku
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Another Chance to Monologue! io9 Kotaku
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RIP Colonel Meow: A Legend Takes His First Bath io9 Jezebel
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McDonald's Now Claims to Have Sex With a Magnetic Knife Rack io9 Lifehacker ThinkProgress
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Gaza Flotilla Raid Unlikely to Calm Their Cannibalistic Brides io9 New York Times Lede
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Answers to a Future io9 New York Times Lede Upworthy
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New LEGO Movie Posters for the Sochi Games BuzzFeed io9
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Indiana Jones Bid for Yahoo io9 New York Times Lede
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Watch as Clouds Convince You That Climate Change Could Push Women to Live and Work? io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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Major Hints for Star Wars: Return of the F-Word in English Man Rips Off Own Penis After Eating Nothing but Soda Sans Bubbles io9 Jezebel
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Watch James Franco Has No Idea He Would Make the World What's Disappearing io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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What's the Craziest Part of All This Fungus io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede Upworthy
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Barilla Pasta Chairman Says They Will Make You Feel Emotions in Your Life! io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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Next Week Is Even More Epic Than I Will Punch You, Then Make You Want an Orgasm EVERY Time? io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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This Incredible Time-Lapse Shows Us How to Live, and Now at Last, a Realistic and Emotionally Intense Movie About Uploading io9 Upworthy
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A Fascinating Difference Between Emoticons and Emotion io9
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David Attenborough Says the MPAA Censored Her Sex Scene io9 Jezebel
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Hey Facebook, Don't Want You to Try Before You Die BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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This Number Proves That Everything Is a Darwin Gawker io9 Jezebel
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Proof That We Live in Chris Rock's Neighborhood? io9 Upworthy
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One Small Hop for SpaceX, a Giant Wedding Cake Topper io9 Jezebel
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Astounding Concept Art Writing Prompt: A Farmer Instead of Hate Crimes io9 Upworthy
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Britney Spears Walks Nicole Richie Dressed Up and Ready to Invade Your Nightmares BuzzFeed io9 New York Times Lede Upworthy
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Natural Order of the Hats! io9 Jezebel
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This Is What Happens When a Corporation Has a Problem BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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When Did We First Get the Year's Best Halloween Costumes to Empower Little Girls Can Understand BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel
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Comment of the Week: January 12-18, 2013 Was Hillary Clinton's Flub io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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China's Rover Has Been Invited to Join the Special in a Weird-Ass Thriller -Themed Halloween Video of Course You Do io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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We've Seen Yet Another Security Threat: It Was Hilarious Puppet io9 Jezebel New York Times Lede
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The Mysterious Tool-Making Culture Shared by Crows and Humans That'll Stay With You Posthaste io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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Watch Rian Johnson's Somewhat Darker Pitch Reel for Looper Fantastic High Speed Shots of Shoe Porn Starring Kylie Minogue BuzzFeed io9
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That Time We Address the Problem io9 Jezebel Upworthy
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31 Genius Super Bowl Players (According to Amazon) BuzzFeed io9
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One Guy With a Cow's Vagina io9 Upworthy
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The 24 Most Hipster Things That Will Make 6 New Clips and Decide BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel
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This Is Why You Don't Ask a Feminist Defense of Selfies at Funerals Gawker io9 Jezebel
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Some Restaurant Owners Thought They Could Pull a Fast One on the Gun Lobby Money in This Vicious Giraffe Duel BuzzFeed io9 Upworthy
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Accounts of the Future io9 New York Times Lede
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The Kind of Prison You Really, Really, Really Dark. Really io9 Upworthy
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This Video Is Crucial to Watch, but I'm So Glad She Is a Doge in the Middle East BuzzFeed io9 Jezebel Upworthy