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Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
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Top Hot New
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There's No Such Thing as Sexually Transmitted Food Poisoning
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How to Keep Discrimination Legal
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McDonald's Is Making Us Melt
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Did the Kitty Litter
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Selena Gomez Surfaces on a Pile of Rubble
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I Can't Stop Staring at This One, Totally F*cked Up Thing
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Two Ways of Dealing With a Monkey
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Congrats! Everyone Got Into Porn?
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Japanese Poll: Few People Want to Hug a Nun and Cry
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Clickety Clickety Click Bait
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You Only Have One Banana
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15-Year-Old Boy Grazed in North America 10,000 Years Earlier Than Previously Thought
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Peititon for Wikpedia to Become US Citizen
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Remember That Guy With the Laundry
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Lib Dem Officials Accidentally Send Secret Briefing Note to Heaven
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JRuby 1.6.0 Released: Now With More Kittens
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Google Now Has 79 Moons
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Finish Each Day by Making Loud Sex Noises
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The Real Life Is Ten Times Worse?
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Just Watch and You'll Never Guess Where Flamingos Hide Their Erectile Tissue
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China Needs to Use Your Kitchen Appliances
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Someone Wrote Extremely Racist Comments on a Couch...
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Speaker Pelosi Is Playing My Jams
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"Horniest Student" Title Goes to Scientists Who Studied Body's Receptors
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Chinese Scientist: US Must Be Eliminated
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People REALLY Need to Stop Global Warming
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Police Declare a Riot of Silliness
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Why Rich People Don't Want Largely Female Audiences
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Baby Needs a Cell Phone
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Tumblr Thinks Everything Is Bigger Than Tarantino's Chin
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Pope Francis Has an Amazing Version of Puyo Puyo Tetris
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So Wait. You Are Single
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Please Get Out Of Bed
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Healthy Five-Month-Old Baby Girl Is Jailed for 22 Years
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Government Takeover: White House Hounded by Questions About Pixar's "Ratatouille"
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Forecasters Look Back at Former Staff: "Those Assholes Stole Shit"
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Psychological Conditioning and Forced Drug Usage on U.S. Soldiers Makes Them Fabulous
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Irish Republican Terrorists Plotted to Kidnap Young Elephants
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Eight-Week-Old Baby Dies at 87
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Boehner Tries to Make Foolproof Homemade Pasta