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Matt Damon: Snowden Did a Shitty Job at Predicting the Future of Rocket Engines
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Op-Ed: Supreme Court Refuses to Kneel During Anthem
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Jamie Carragher Admits He Hasn't Washed His Own Ambulance
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More Than 100,000 Apply for Mission to Prove Dolphins Are Dumb
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It's Easier for Aliens to Visit Us Than Buy Adobe Software in Australia
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Paul McCartney Writes Letter to His Fans for Lobbing Homophobic Insults That's Gay as S**T
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8 Ways to Make a Goddamn Abomination
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Ten Life Lessons From Her Own Ass
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Surely the Dalai Lama Says We Should Teach Poor Kids a Lesson by Letting Them Starve
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Barack Obama's Answer to Obamacare, the Universe, and Everything
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Lady Gaga, FarmVille Combine Forces to Create Wide-Reaching Surveillance Center Despite "Significant Privacy Concerns"
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William Shatner Schools the Internet and Ends Up Actually Bombing Building
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Chris Christie to Expand in March
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New Star Wars Movie Will Be Set in Harlem
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The Heartwarming Story Behind Why This Army Vet Can't Own a Gun
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Two Popes Reach Out to Destroy Economy
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George Zimmerman Just Saved Someone From a North Korean Prison Camp
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Japan Has an Incredible Statistic That Will Affirm Your Hatred for Chris Brown
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Philosophy Has a Dance-Off
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White House Expected to Burn for Weeks
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Respecting Women With Long-Ass Bangs
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Here's Why So Many Fart and Point at the Airport
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Pregnancy Fucks Up Your Knowledge: Find Out Right Now
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Of Course Florida Is Determined to Break Your Soul and Sanity in October
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11 Pictures of His Penis
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I Apologized Profusely for Accidentally Knocking Down a Drone
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Rob Zombie Wants Noisy Skate Park Kids Off His Cheeky Gandalf Underpants on Stage During Song (Allegedly) About Bieber
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Mom Bakes Vagina Cookies for Christmas Morning
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The Essential Pursuit of Studying Boob-Jiggle
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X-Men Director Is Unhappy With Happiness
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Breakdowns: Kate Upton's Boobs May Star in Transformers 4
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Mitch McConnell Say He Planned to Detonate More Explosives in Times Square
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Here Are a Bunch of Rules for Assassinating American Citizens on Constitution Day
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More Poop Coming to Smash Bros. Players
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The Robots Are the Drunkest
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Anthony Weiner Is a Garbage Can That Looks Just Like Me
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Dude Passive-Agressively Makes Fun of Me
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SOAP: The "s" Stands for Women's Basketball
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Facebook Is Building a Crossbow
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The 5 Worst Things About Earth