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Headline Smasher

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Kerry Not "Prepared" to Let You Blow People Up in a Bakery
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Monster Hunter Tri Did Not Expect to Find Waldo
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"High Society" Push to Grab Female Voters and Make Oooo Noises
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The FBI Will Feed Your Family for Just £5
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I Can't HEAR YOU OVER THE Alamo
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Pikachu Used to Hold Erotica Nights at Her Midtown Apartment
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The Perks of Being The Unabomber
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There's a Goddamn Bird in My Class
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Watch Live: Obama Expected to Wear a See-Through Shirt Sans Bra
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Ted Cruz Reads Green Eggs & Ham Because He Wants to Bone You, Duh
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15 Signs You're Obsessed With This Screaming Goat
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Did Pizza End the Universe
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Queen Elizabeth Is Reportedly Changing Career Paths
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No Time to Stop Ranting About Masturbation and Lesbians
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The Mattress That Helped Me Even if Our President Doesn't
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Neandertals, Stone Age People May Have Bugged Singapore Hotel Staff
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Techno-Hell: "AI Godfather" Geoffrey Hinton Quits Google to Expose Himself to Jesus: 2000 Years Ago
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Helpful Tips and Tricks to Heal Terrorism's Traumas
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This Laser Treatment Got Rid of My Purpose
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Harvard University Ranks Worst in the Abyss
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My Mouth Is Ready to FIght in Vietnam
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Snoop Dogg on Lakers, "Get a Boob Job"
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Internet Explorer to Be a Crime
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Three New Mysterious Pokémon Discovered in Munich Apartment
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3,000-Year-Old Statue of Egypt's Most Powerful Earthquake Rattles Sleeping San Francisco Bay Area
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Left-Wing Writer Explains to Fellow Liberals Why They Finally Designed a Hospital Gown That Covers Your Ass
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Rep. Donald Payne Jr. Busted in His Butt
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Samsung Created Bots to Cater to Your Burrito Order From the Grave
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The Vikings Are Coming. Hide Your Kids
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17 Times Florida Man Killed by a 3D Printer
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Federal Shutdown - It's Time for Political Murders
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Fukushima Reactors Did Not End Well
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Journalist Names Her Baby Crying
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24 Kids Who Are Complete Bastards
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Tiny Houses Key to Catching Zodiac Killer?
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Katy Perry and Tim McGraw Just Gave Birth to Your Mother? Your Sister? Your Daughter?
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Meet the People Who Inexplicably Became Ninjas
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Rupert Murdoch and His Flying Robot Unicorn
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Everyone Wins When This Corgi Plays With Novelty Dildo on His Head Before Opening Fire on Farm Subsidies
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No One Wants to Exist