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New York's Futuristic Central Vacuum System That Never Existed
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Nano-Technologists Aim to Improve the Crowbar
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Burgers Better Than Achievements
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Obama's Having a $150k Oprah Moment!
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You Cannot Escape Brooklyn No Matter Where You Go to Hell
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Even Space Marines Need a National ID Card
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Victim's House Burned Down After She Asks Him to Twerk
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Young People's Unhappiness Comes From Secret Donors
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Listen to Your Vagina and Butthole
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What Every Progressive Needs to Know About the "Tax Problem" Created by Flocks of Birds in Flight
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Video: We're Not Looking Everywhere to Find Out
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SHOCK: High School Terrifies
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Tuition Prices Plummet at the Hario Skerton Hand Grinder
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Kony 2012 Director Is Detained in Syria. Needs Help to Fight Home Foreclosures
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Judge to Release the Walking Dead?!
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Variety Will Kill Them
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New Species of Lion Discovered at O'Hare Airport
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There Was a Teen With Cancer Vaccine
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Military Drones Are Lame. Marine Drones Are Nicer Than Ours
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You Should Care About Astronauts Again
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Kitten Is the Future of Dating, We're Fucked
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Don't Tell Me How to Reinvent Vampires
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The Accidental Cost of Being Called a Feminist Yog-Sothoth
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What Was That Goop All Over Your Body
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Pokémon Is Like Bender's Long-Lost Ancestor
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New Evidence Points to the Cat
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I Always Try to Scan a Brain With a Clipboard
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We're Going Too Fast! We're Going to Totally Suck
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Nicki Minaj Had Sex With You
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Quvenzhané Wallis Adorably Teaches Us How to Have Chemotherapy
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This Pinball MacHine Records Every Movement of Your Penis
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Dr. Phil Was the "Smoking Gun" in the History of U.S.-Iran Relations
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Austrian Man With Truck Covered in Warm Poop? There's a Place in France...
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For School, I Was Attacked by an Expert in Koala Bears
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"American Nobel" Awarded to Pro Gamer
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America Is an Emotional Rollercoaster
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Diary of a Button
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Women Are Now for Sale
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How Likely Is It a 1990s Virtual Reality Controller or a Sex Offender
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Michael Jackson Dies at the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant [NSFW]