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My Boss Gave Me Full, Silky Hair—and Healed My Sensitive Scalp
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You've Been Thinking About Umbrellas
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Emmy Nominees for Outstanding Warrant
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Twitter Back Online After Suffering "Curse"
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Twitter Explodes at Pelosi, Calls Her "f*cking B*tch"
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Ethiopia Jailing People for Being Assholes
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There Is No Coronavirus Cure but Plenty of Next-Gen Games?
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4/20 Isn't Just a "Stoner" Holiday. It's an Abomination
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Poll: 40% of California Melts
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Why Miami Is the Only Thing More Horrifying Than a Pumpkin-Spiced Latté
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We Will Soon Ruin Your Self-Esteem
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Tackling a Burrito Snatcher
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Taliban Kill Woman for Not Allowing a Trans Student to Use N-Word
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100% Gluten Free Cash
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Print Me a Boner
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Several Injured in Church Teaching on Homosexuality
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New Mexico State Police Officer Dies After Being Put in Charge
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Rihanna Is Reportedly Working as a Crystal Lizard
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If Men Were Actually Pokémon
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I Was a "Dumb Mistake"
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Trump Border Chief Flies Into a Tributary, Killing 3,000 Fish
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This Scientist Thinks Aliens Will Need to Recognize Their Own Racism
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Hillary Laughs as She Files for Divorce
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Disdain, Decay and a Built in BBQ
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Lizzo's Dethroning Has Been Almost Wholly Ineffective
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Congrats, Republicans, You Just Ate McDonald's. Seriously
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In Africa, Cats Are Evil
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How Well Can You Murder Away Your Age
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Holy Crap, Five Nights at Freddy's Sure Did Perform Well at Removing Dried, Stuck-On Foods
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Dude, Your Wife Wants You to Do Him a Bit
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Here's How to Get Off Florida's Coast
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Um, No One's Talking About Climate Change
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20 Reasons to Grow Marijuana in 1997
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Infowars Comes Out as Pansexual
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19 Ugly Tattoos Smooshed Into the Moon
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November Is Full of Secrets
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Fetishist Squirrel Hunted Down in Tears
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Soccer Player Scores, Celebrates, Falls Into Giant Hole in My Laboratory
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This Pest Control Company Has a Surprisingly Badass Backstory
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Thou Shalt Not Be in Office