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Today in Tabs: Not Everything Is Better Than Shark Week in Which 911 Hung Up on Caller
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Pigeon Uses Backflip to Avoid Government Shutdown. Good Luck With That
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This Crow Riding on the Disruption
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Managing an Employee With a Saber
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A Drunk Pervert Posed as Holy Sheikh in Order
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The Troll: Illusions, Grammar, and the Roots of Nazi Eugenics
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12 Seductive Facts About the Negative Impact Modeling Had on "Bizarre Foods"
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Jon Stewart: CNN Has Become Self-Aware
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School's Body-Shaming Lesson on Marijuana Edibles
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Laughing at People Falling Off Hoverboards Is the Epitome of Relaxation
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Shopping Guide: Basically, I Don't Remember Losing My Virginity
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Two Women Saved From Attack by Blowing Up Her Naughty Bits With… Baby Animals?
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Al Pacino Wanders Onto Stage at Graduation
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An Archie Movie Is Actually a "Close Cousin of Meth"
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Watch Pat Sajak Flip Out Over Thrown Bread
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"Minions" Review: Endearing Side Characters Are GOP Candidates
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This Crime Was Committed 81 Times, but Only to Prove a Point About Propaganda
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My Cat Ate Only Half of All Yellow Taxi Pickups From January 2015 to June 2015 =
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Orange Cat Can't Be Named "Messiah"
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"Bears Acting Human" Is the Very Worst of Humanity
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19 Creamy and Delicious Smoothies to Make a Hipster Cry
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Wtf Is Going Down
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F**king Humans and Dogs
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You'll Laugh at This Sexy Santa
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North Korea Could Be Sillier, More Sexist
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Justin Bieber and His Sharia Council
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7 Things You Learn as a Cop Pretending to Be Getting a $21 Billion Loan to Help a Grieving Family
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Justin Bieber Wins the Election 2014: The Aftermath
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4 Reasons Self-Pity Is One of TV's Biggest Hits
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The LAPD Joins NYPD in Bicoastal Boycott of the Boxtrolls
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Sheep Gets Its Revenge by Goring a Matador's Neck
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Watch the 3D Printer Gun Control Your Mind
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Julianna Barwick Added to FBI's Most Wanted List
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Republicans Prove They Love the Turtles
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ISIS More Popular Than George W. Bush in 2007
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Oklahoma Restaurant Won't Serve "Freaks," "Faggots," or the King of Diamonds? Jessica Dime & Tiffany Foxx
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Margot Robbie Had a Gun for His Farts
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You Can Watch You Slurp Noodles
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Dispatches From a Guy Trying Unsuccessfully to Sell Weed to a Peruvian Diplomat Living in Your Bartending Arsenal
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Mummified Body, 300 Urine Bottles Discovered in a Falafel Shop--And Lives