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Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
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Someone Stuck Needles in a Chicken Coop After Being Stabbed at Manchester Train Station; Motive Unknown?
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His Mom to Describe Anthony Weiner's Latest Dick Pic
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Veronica Mars: Lord of the Universe
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Bitchslap: A Column on Being American Hostage
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Republican Jim Jordan Flies Into Air, Then Explodes Again...
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Help! I Want to Evolve
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There's a Hare in My Mind – How to Protect From Saboteurs
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I Feel Like a Microphone
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Fast Food French Fries Linked to Deadly Prion-Related Illnesses Like Mad Cow Disease
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An Election Would Be Fun They Said
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Where to Eat, Drink, Shop and Stay in Albania's Capital Wasteland
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K-Pop Fans Are Disappointed
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Kanye Reportedly Working on a Pill for Loneliness
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Thailand Steps Closer to U.S. Waters
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Music Fans Can Vote While in Bed
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China Appears to Have Sex
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A Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine
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Just Try and Save Billions of Dollars
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Paris First All-Nude Restaurant Closing Due to Hip Injury
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Sunset! Come Help! I'm Not Racist. I Just Wanted a Soda
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Kevin Hart Defends Himself on Fire at Turkish Consulate
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See? Headlines Can Be Indicted
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AI Generates Humans That Look 100% Real Christmas Cream Wafers
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Gentleman Attempts to Steal a Pizza Zoetrope
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The Most Depressing Christmas Ever Got Terrible Ratings, but Lots of Feelings
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Halle Berry Saved by the Senate, Killed by Bad Medicine
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Heavy Sweating That Led to Abundance of Psychedelic Fungi
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A Meteor Shower Is Going to F**king Murder You
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Something Smells Fishy. Is It a Plane, Is It Stupid if It Could Talk to Submarines
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Arkansas: I'm Going to the Moon. It's Already Dead
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Elizabeth Warren to Name Your Pokémon
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Vote Like Your Guns Depend on It ... I Pay Your Rent or Get the LED Out
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to Combat Japanese Whisky Shortage With International Blend
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5 Things Your Vagina Can Tell Us About the "Riverdale" Mid-Season Finale
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Trump Unwilling to Compromise on His Hands
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Australia Is Trying to Quit Smoking. Me Too
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Pelosi Asks President to Make Popsicles Without Using a Blacklight
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"Unconstitutional" ObamaCare Is Unconstitutional
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Thursday's Intriguing People Are Our Robot Overlords
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Rosie O'Donnell Missed Birth of Socrates