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Headline Smasher

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Fast Food French Fries Linked to Deadly Prion-Related Illnesses Like Mad Cow Disease
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An Election Would Be Fun They Said
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Where to Eat, Drink, Shop and Stay in Albania's Capital Wasteland
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K-Pop Fans Are Disappointed
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Kanye Reportedly Working on a Pill for Loneliness
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Thailand Steps Closer to U.S. Waters
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China Appears to Have Sex
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Cher Says That Women's Periods DON'T Attract Bears, So Eat Your Heart
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A Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine
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Just Try and Save Billions of Dollars
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The Simpsons Made a "Dolphin on Wheels" Out of Ten Commandments Monument From Capitol Hill
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Cop Pens Touching Op-Ed: Do Everything I Say and I Am Swaddled in Furs
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FBI Says It Didn't Offend Him
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Paris First All-Nude Restaurant Closing Due to Hip Injury
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Sunset! Come Help! I'm Not Racist. I Just Wanted a Soda
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Kevin Hart Defends Himself on Fire at Turkish Consulate
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See? Headlines Can Be Indicted
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The Great Beer Flood of Beautiful Inspiration
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AI Generates Humans That Look 100% Real Christmas Cream Wafers
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Gentleman Attempts to Steal a Pizza Zoetrope
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Heavy Sweating That Led to Abundance of Psychedelic Fungi
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A Meteor Shower Is Going to F**king Murder You
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Something Smells Fishy. Is It a Plane, Is It Stupid if It Could Talk to Submarines
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Arkansas: I'm Going to the Moon. It's Already Dead
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Rwandan General Sentenced to Life Plus 70 Years Since the Passenger Pigeon Became Extinct
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CURT: The Story Behind Grandma Got Run Over by Three NYC Subway Tracks in Possible Hate Crime
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Elizabeth Warren to Name Your Pokémon
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to Combat Japanese Whisky Shortage With International Blend
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5 Things Your Vagina Can Tell Us About the "Riverdale" Mid-Season Finale
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Trump Unwilling to Compromise on His Hands
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Panel Tells F.D.A. To Back deGrom in 7-2 Win Over Phillies
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Pelosi Asks President to Make Popsicles Without Using a Blacklight
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"Unconstitutional" ObamaCare Is Unconstitutional
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A Brave Woman Wrote on Facebook
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Rosie O'Donnell Missed Birth of Socrates
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Now THAT'S a Bunch of Bulls***
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This Nickelodeon Star Is Now Orbiting a Tiny Asteroid
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Trump Will Always Be Alone
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Trump Is Effectively Discontinued
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"Hardcore" Pokemon Fans Blame Game for Devil-Worshipping