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I Always Knew God Was a Mistake
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Feds Seize 16.5 Tons of Beans
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In Most of America, It's Saturday. In Tennessee, It's a Horse in Water Balloon
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Animals Are Boiled ALIVE to Make You LOL
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Turn Your Afternoon Tea Into a "tool of Partisan Vengeance"
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Just Gonna Mess With Pakistan, Army Warns as Tensions Ease
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Nearly 180,000 Students Won't Have to Merge With Machines to Overcome Their "Existential Threat"
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Giant Lizard in Florida Senate Race?
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Happiness Is a Thoroughly Stupid Idea
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What Does Starbucks Dragon Drink Taste Like? It's a Cup Full of Demons and Complaining
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Take Your Dick Out of Politics
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Why "The Force Awakens" Is Better Than My Dick
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"Killer Robots" That Can Solve Traffic Jams
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Amazon Deals: Get 10% Cashback When You Are Rich but Ugly
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#WannaCry Ransomware Exposed as a Surreal Vaporwave Art Piece
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Michelle Obama: Why I Married Myself
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3 Ways to Trick Out Your Vagina
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Facebook Will Soon Let You Down
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Obama: I Was So Hardcore in the 90s
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George R. R. Martin Declines to Kill "Those ISIS Fucks"
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Kids Want to Be Crushed
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Kim Kardashian's Bare Ass Was Interviewed in This Official Disney Infinity Video. [Update]
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I'm a Sucker for Horrible Stupid Garbage
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Yes, There Is Something Jesus Would Do—You Know, Find the Perfect Earbuds
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Feed Your Inner Bitch
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This Teacher Teaches Amazing Lessons, Even When He's Making Tea in Extreme Slow-Motion
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Male Spiders "Twerk" to Avoid Death Penalty
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The Sun Has Been Cancelled
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1 Photo That Will Make You Die Faster
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19 Signs You Are Me
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Why's the 86-Year-Old Wearing a Speedo
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Domestic Worker Accused of Sexually Transmitted Demons
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Obama 2.0: Time to Recognize a Third Gender
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Here's the First 12 Minutes of Honest Television That Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity, Penises
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Two Years Ago I Was Younger
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POLL: 48% of Americans Say Biden Is Not Real
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Barack Obama Was President
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Joe Biden Was VP: Report Finds
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Money Might Actually Buy Happiness — but It's Government Funded
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The Rain Is Becoming "too Woke"