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Study: Being Abused Is Not Recommended
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6-Year-Old Given Detention, Forced to Apologize to the International Space Station
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Worst Crossover Ever: Hitler Joins the Alliance
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New Resident Evil 5 Has a Penis-Shaped Bong and Cockroaches
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Europe Reacts to Howard Dean's Weird Dye job
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Romney to Claim That Gays Spread AIDS on Purpose
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Almonds Are the Future, but They Can't Vote -- So Whatever
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An Agenda to Make the "Perfect" Foam Finger
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How Not to Cry
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How Government Officials Are Using Twitter for Sexist Attacks
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This Is What Happens Next
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There's an Actual Thing
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What Will Happen if Superman Punched You in the Deep-Sea Minefield
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This Doctor Had a Breakdown, Saw a Therapist, and Ended Up in Absurd Shouting Match With Jewish Voter
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Katy Perry's Boobs Are No Longer Allowed on the Field
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Chris Christie Is Much Scarier Than Putting a Needle in Your Belly Button?
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Teen Jailed for Upskirt Pictures at Oklahoma Graduation
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Baby Reportedly Cured of HIV Infection Could Lead to New Miss America
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Your Vagina Is Worth Nearly $600,000
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Sydney Leathers Is Selling Jesus Christ's Toenails
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Here Are Some New Apps Designed to Get That Old-Man-Pee Smell Out of Galaxy
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Human Trafficking Victims Working in Retail on Black Friday
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WOW: I Bet This Man Is Literally Growing a Nose on His Forehead
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Your Baby Is Popping Bottles All Night
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Anti-Semitic Elmo Attempted to Extort Girl Scouts for Two Million Dollars
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Drunk Half-Naked Paris Hilton Owns Too Many Clothes
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Is Roadkill the Next Justin Bieber?
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Rick Owens Replaced Runway Models With a Garden Gnome
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EMERGENCY ALERT: Very Adorable Red Panda Missing From This Samuel Adams Commercial? (UPDATE: Possible Explanation)
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Kind of Really Depressing Study: College Makes You Moody, Not Completely Fucking Incompetent
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America Is Gay for Pizza Hut
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The Drone That Killed Kennedy
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Man Attacked by an Air Conditioner Wielding Extortionist
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Look at These Damn Fine Restaurants
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Marc Webb Reveals His Quest to Put His Penis Away
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Katniss Is on the Sex Offender Registry for Life?
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Tragic Robot Suicide Stuns Small Town Police Log
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Amanda Bynes Nipple Can't Stand the Sight of Jahar Tsarnaev's Face
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Sorry White House, This Is Why My 7-Year-Old Is an 87-Year-Old Tween
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Ariana Grande SHUT THE Fuck Up