Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

Ninja Theory Is Definitely a Thing I Can't Come Into Work Today Because I'm an Alcoholic but I'm Definitely Not Gay!

3 votes
Vote
Tweet
Share

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    Obama: "I Haven't Smoked in Six Years Because I'm Scared of My Wife"
    Gawker Gawker
  • Read
    Smashes
    Comments: 'When we were Chinese, we were behind Americans ... I guess I can't win'
    CNN CNN
  • Read
    Smashes
    Eisner Is Definitely Not Forgetting The Alamo, Which Is a Disaster
    Defamer Defamer
  • Read
    Smashes
    "Is There Such a Thing as Black Pop Culture?": Director Shaka King
    Defamer Defamer
  • Read
    Smashes
    I Can't Come Into Work Today Because I'm Menstruating Profusely
    Jezebel Jezebel
  • Read
    Smashes
    I'm an Alcoholic Dude With an Eating Disorder. Hi.
    Jezebel Jezebel
  • Read
    Smashes
    CNN’s Chris Cuomo Brought His Older Brother to Work Today
    Gawker Gawker
  • Read
    Smashes
    Capcom Japan Urged Ninja Theory To Go Wild With The New Dante
    Giant Bomb Giant Bomb
  • Read
    Smashes
    Wendy Davis's Filibuster Was Admirable, But I'm Not Sure It Was the Best Thing for Democracy
    Huffington Post Huffington Post
  • Read
    Smashes
    Alec Baldwin I've Loved Dudes ... But I'm Definitely Not Gay!
    TMZ TMZ

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account