Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

Can't Monetize Free Users? Try Threatening Them With Bullets, but if You Want to Help Spruce Up Your Secret Fantasies

1 vote
Vote
Tweet
Share

discovered by sister havana
2014-01-03

2014-01-03

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    “Porn4Jews” Is A Hilarious New Tumblr That Understands All Your Secret Fantasies
    BuzzFeed BuzzFeed
  • Read
    Smashes
    Can’t monetize free users? Try threatening them with legal action
    Hacker News Hacker News
  • Read
    Smashes
    Want to Help Fix Health Care? Start by Watching a Movie Tonight
    Huffington Post Huffington Post
  • Read
    Smashes
    Colbert: "The United States has no choice but to attack Syria because dictator Bashar Al Asad is killing his own people with chemical weapons. Before he was just killing them with bullets, but if America cared about shooting people, we'd be invading Chicago."
    r/politics r/politics
  • Read
    Smashes
    "Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?" -- Jon Stewart to Bill O'Reilly
    r/politics r/politics
  • Read
    Smashes
    Clever furniture to help spruce up your house
    The Chive The Chive

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account