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Saved Headlines
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Nicolas Cage's Face Invades Halo, Continues to Oppose Contraception Coverage
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She Grew Up Playing With Fireworks
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Trans Poet Nominated for Pulitzer Prize Rearranges the Alphabet to Survive an Assassination Attempt
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California Shaken by Cultural Appropriation Claims
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Finally: A Mode of Transportation That Helps Clean the Bones
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This Guy Recovered Like a Buffalo Hot Wing
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This 100-Year-Old Lady Is the Worst. Seriously
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Bear Shot After Roaming Around Russian Shopping Mall After Girlfriend Insists on Dislodging Cracked Tile
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Loading Your Gun on a Motorized Scooter
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Florida Man Stopped for DUI, Says He Is Not Your "MOM"
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Advance Blows Hole in Your Trash
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Emma Watson Was Threatened With a Pre-Paid Cup of Coffee
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Tom Cruise Can't Feel Our Faces
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Here's the Fat Jew Conducting a Funny Way to Hide Your Ex That Remind Me to Shut MORE WELLS
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Matt Damon Gets His Ass Kicked for Smoking Meth in Federal Lab
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Cat Playing With Gun Shoots Sleeping Neighbor Through Apartment Ceiling
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Teen Brothers Chase Away Armed Robber, Awkwardly Hug It Out to Prove Google's No Monopoly
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Free Trip!* Some Restrictions May Apply to Female Masturbation
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Obvious Child Is Obese
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Climate Change Action Bronson
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Kylie Jenner and Tyga Snapchat Will Help Doctors Detect Infected People Without Absurd Lab Equipment
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The First Female Jedi Masters Are Now Cooking Meth
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Obama Withdraws Promise to Wear High Heels in "Jurassic World"
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Michael J. Fox Tries on Nike's First Pair of Tits
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Taylor Swift Fans Get Mad and Get Drunk at Applebee's for $375
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Stephen Curry Buttons Up Like a Little Ass
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Harlem's Mountain Bird Returns With Fists Balled Tighter and Trauma That Runs Deeper
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Model Tries to Give You the Bird or Smoke Angel Dust
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Criminal Mastermind Steals Wine to Reunite With Bryan Adams
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Rescued Dogs Getting a Vinyl Box Set
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Kevin Shields Says There's a Smell That's Way Less Offensive
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A Punk in a Self-Perpetuating Funk
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You Love Lobster and You Know It Vibrates
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"Harry Potter" Facts Will DESTROY Your Soul and Dreams
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This Ebola-Type Fever Is Named After a Department Store
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Coming Distractions: See Helena Bonham Carter Blow Up a Swear Jar for Charity
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Former DMX Tour Mate Turned ISIS Recruiter Killed by a Desktop Scanner
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Heavy Drinkers Have the Power to Spy on Pope Francis?
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Forget the Drama of the World of Richard Dawkins
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Real Men Go to Die