theultimateonion

Voted Headlines
68
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India Reacts to Luigi's Death Stare
162
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Why Are People Pooping
8
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No You're Not Helping
8
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This Dumb Parrot Thinks It's Matthew McConaughey, Talks Just Like Fuck It, I'll Be a Metaphor
73
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An Abortion Walks Into a Texas Strip Club…
6
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Melissa McCarthy Reveals a New American Horror Story: "Birth."
88
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Would Jesus Be Gay for Ignoring Stripper's Hot Boobs
8
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Orange Is the Best Dad Joke Ever Told
154
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9 Tips for Surviving a Pretentious Coffee Shop
4
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Women Aren't Keeping Their Maiden Names Because They're Super Wealthy
189
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Sorry, Republicans: We Know About Aquaman
310
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"AAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!" Is for Sale
91
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New Trailer for HBO's Game of Fucks
104
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There's a Hostage Situation in Congress. They've Got a Front Page Nipple Photo
87
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Egypt's Oldest Pyramid Is Being Charged With Corruption Case
129
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How Being Gay Was Her Gateway Drug . . . To Independence?
280
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Sick of Rich People Telling Me How to Cut a Mango
223
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Police Search for America's Best Burrito
3
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You Need to Worry About That Chick It Was Just Sex, Sex, Murder, Sex, Car, Sex Offenders
197
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Bro Attempts to Pick Up Grandmas, Fails Miserably
161
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America Is Not a Dick Joke
188
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Guy Claims a Prostitute "Forced" Him to EXPLODE
349
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Someone Built a Dang Windmill
6
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Bitchslap: A Column About Women (That Aren't Potato Salad)
161
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10 Reasons You Absolutely Must Poop Before You Die
298
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World's Most Powerful Photo of Salad
3
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How to Craft a Caesar Salad and Not Leave My Condoms in Your Pocket