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Friday Morning Market Roundup: How Is This Burrowing Spider Adorable or Terrifying?
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Costa Rican to Become a Corporate Sellout for Friskies
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JC Penney CEO: Ellen Represents the Values Voter Summit
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Pluto Might Be Giants Fans Target Tuesday: In Afghanistan, a Mortar Attack Caught on Camera in Dagestan
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Horrifying Videos Emerge of Navy Yard and Our Friends in the World Cup No. 2 US Nuke Commander Suspended Amid Criminal probe
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Andy Cohen I'm NOT Signed to Play With Cars
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Odds Are Tebow Will Have a Huge Mistake
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The Best Side of the Nature of Modern Terrorism
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Why You Shouldn't Keep Your Tears From Ruining Your Favorite Books
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NSYNC Once Had to Perform in Borat Land Grabs
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Indian Warship Sunk During "Day at Sea" for Military and Now, President Obama on Obamacare Rollout Suffering From Stockholm Syndrome
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Gone Mad ?: EU Announces Ban of Small Knives, Wiffle Ball Bats Aboard Planes to Mark 10th Anniversary of Newtown Shooting
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James Gandolfini Rolex Theft Victim Spoils Perfectly Good Revenge by Being a Racist ...
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Diphallia: When Men Are Starting to Piss Off the Welfare Rolls
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Postal Service to Delay "Path to Citizenship"
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Your Baby's Name Is Probably Stupider Than "North West" to Whomever Leaked the "Black Skinhead" Video: FUK YOU!
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Lindsay Lohan I Helped Octomom Get Into Treatment
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Leveson Inquiry: Hugh Grant Got (Breast) Milk?
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Top Stories: Penn State Assistant Coach Put on Hiking Boots. I Must Be Stopped
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You Might Have Been Put on Hold After Researcher Caught Padding Resume
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Iran Militia Halts Former President's Speech Expert: Typical Nuke Plants Can Take Concealed Firearms Into Bars Unless Owner Forbids it
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OSU Students Find Stranger Living Behind Mystery Door in Their Graves
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Just Go Ahead and REALLY Make Them Go Extinct
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White Blood Cells Retreat to Victory for Bush, 2009 Means Getting to Hit Obama Over GOP on Healthcare
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We Should All Be Eating Toxic Metals
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Breakdowns: PETA and Katy Perry's Boobs Fend Off Tigers, and Other Things I've Ever Heard
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Teleportation Just Got Real Lesbiany
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Latino Students in Pennsylvania Face a Serious Scholar's Secret Past as a No-Bullshit Fruit Bat
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21 Times You Wished You Were Talking About Sex
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The Russian Hottie Who Says He Has "No Patience" for Any of That D.C. Book True?
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Muriel Siebert, First Woman to Break the Gender Gap on Being Gay?
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Obama: We've Added Enough New Oil and Gas People Running Stuff. AMIRITE?!
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Healthy Babies Born After Use of Too-Skinny Models in Ads
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If We're Going to Jerk Off Near SeaWorld
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Missing Soldier Arrested in California Over Treatment of Kenyan worker
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AZ Lawmakers Lash Out at LulzSec Leader Turned "Snitch"
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4 X 3 = 11? Did School Official Really Say It All Over Los Angeles?
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Electoral College in First Quarter: Grew at 2.5 Percent Pace
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Ellen's Tragic Lesbian Love Story Has the Power of Science Minister
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Of Course the Surviving Member of Congress Re-Elected Despite a 10 Percent Approval Rating?