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Man Eats Burger King Kid's Meal

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Slow news day?

Burger King Is Dead at 88

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The Burger King is dead. Long live the Burger King.

Latest: Authorities Say *Bonjour*

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I thought they said "howdy".

Hash Browns Don't Have Any Lives

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Technically true.

MICHAEL Phelps, Katie Ledecky, Zika: Your Morning Coffee Shop

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"Michael" was regular-case before I saved this. Now it's just kind of jarring. "MICHAEL!!! phelps."

Donald Trump Confronted by Robot Dinosaurs

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Go robot dinosaurs!

NASA Just Released 1,035 New Images From "Pokemon Go"

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All the rare Pokemon are in space, I bet.

Donald Trump Will Never Be Boring

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Unfortunately.

Obama Declares Trump Unfit, "Unprepared" to Be Deported

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I respectfully disagree.

Upgrade Your TV's Audio With This Kid

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If he wants to upgrade my TV's audio, he's gotta do it himself.

No Son, I Am David Brent Scowcroft

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Obi-Wan never told you what happened to David Brent Scowcroft.