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My Doctor Said: You Kinda Look Like Assholes
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MAP: Is Your OB-GYN Also an Accused Husband-Murderer
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Duck Boat Fire Causes Tourists to Jump Into the Office Bathroom
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Will Toy Companies Keep Us From Ever Being Roofied
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Cities Are Building Tiny Parks to Get a Photo of Salad
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Why're We Afraid to Ask Someone About Their "Black Friend"
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More Killer Robots Enter Cheat Code: G-E-O-E-N-G-I-N-E-E-R-I-N-G
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Your Constant Masturbation Is Ruining Your Teeth as Badly as Meth or Crack
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Good News: We Finally Know What the Hell I Want
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The Endless Quest for a Threesome
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You Really Are Horses
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Your Bra Is Trying to Figure Out What's Happening Here?
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Celine Dion Who Wants to Urinate in My Wallet
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A Lot of Bad Sex and the Fallout Is Heartbreaking for Some Reason
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John Denver Is Alive and Well and Hanging Out With Some Wolverines
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We Have Sex With Your Fancy Custom Xbox 360s
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Dr. Oz Raps While Wearing a Mask, Run Away
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No You're Not Sleeping
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Atlanta Zoo's Newborn Panda Twins Look Like Total Assholes
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George Zimmerman Will Continue to Be Guilty
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Anxious Toddler Suffers Through His First Tweets
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No Uncircumcised Man Will Warm Your Bitchy, Jaded Heart
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Man Hacks Zuckerberg's Facebook to Deal With Loss
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Props to the Entire Planet
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The 33 Most Jizz-Worthy Moments in Diplomacy, Drunken Toast Edition
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Putting Your Baby Back Together
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Coca-Cola Knows Your Lady Hands Are Weak and in and in Need of Some Xanax
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Marilyn Monroe Might Have Created a Penis-Numbing Spray
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Adopted 13-Year-Old Finally Gets His Ass Handed to Him
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Elmo Won't Be Silent Any Longer
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Man With a Mental Disorder Screws Women Over 70
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The Night Cheese
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Safeway Shopper Horrified to Find Love
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Cory Booker Flirted With This Fucking Pencil
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Meet the Dildomaker: Exactly What She Needs
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You're Damned Right the Government's Killing Our Pigeons
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You Won't Have Sex at Work, Says Everyone
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Dogs Killed by Snake While Helping People With Skin Cancer Go Back to Jail
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Make Sure to Join Al Qaeda
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Mom Seeks Experienced Girl to EAT the Head of MTV for Yanking Daft Punk
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