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Voted Headlines
529
Vote
President Obama Vows to "Fucking Destroy" the Taxi Industry
2
820
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Nintendo's Been Thinking About Possibly Making a Video Game
5
156
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Tested: How to Murder Someone With Bananas. And Also Bees
246
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Hey, Remember the Early 1800s
1
240
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Life Has Been Cancelled
2
203
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To Do: Go to Hell
2
626
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Can Someone Please Explain How Math Actually Works
2
147
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The Fart That Saved a Woman's Life
1
251
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Company Sorry for Beheading Wrong Guy
2
114
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Oliver Stone's Son Says 9/11 Was an Honest, Drunken Mistake
260
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Gay Priests Coming Out? Pope Says He Would Blow Up Detroit and Start All Over
226
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All Republicans Want to Fuck Me
2
556
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The World's Oldest Woman Dies at Age 9
5
383
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Superman and Batman Have Their Baby
1
538
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I Can't Wait to Play With This Fucking Pencil
1
831
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America Should Be Illegal
1
232
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The History of Openly Masturbating in Restrooms
2
636
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People Are Actually Terrifying
2
169
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Jennifer Lopez's Stalker Spent Six Nights in Her Butt
361
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Windows 8 Start Button May Be Fake
1
582
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Online Dating: Horny Men Talking to Horny Men Talking to Horny Men Talking to Horny Men Pretending to Be Matt
2
122
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30 CLASSIC Dr. Seuss Quotes That Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity
257
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Two Men Arrested After Threesome With Cousin Becomes Twosome
1
187
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Would-Be Burglar Breaks Into the Eye of Sauron
1
251
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Kanye West Explains Why Women "Want to Eat" Babies
428
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When Did "The United States" Become a Thing
1
121
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Kittens Frolicking Is Basically Porn
173
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Miraculously, Nobody Was Hurt by This 9-Year-Old
342
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Time to Recognize That All Drugs Are Expensive but Porn Isn't
1
648
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Is There Even a Government
2
571
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There's So Much Ass
2
707
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If You Give Kids Cigarettes, Superman Will @#$%Ing Murder You This Weekend
2
313
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U.S. Government Shut Down Mother Nature
2
239
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Katy Perry's New Fragrance Bottle Looks Like an Asshole and I Want It Anyway
1
170
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The One Awesome Fact About Eating Squid Sperm
234
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What It's Like to Read Interspecies Erotica
2
275
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Subway "Sandwich Artist" Puts Penis on Mars
1
217
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NASA Plans to Send Poison-Laced Letter to Nerds
1
232
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How Crocodile Extinction Led to the Kardashians
1
638
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Oh God, This Fucking Pencil
2