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The Best Short Hairstyle for Your Chicken
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Trump Campaign Ad Showing Cop Attacked by Internet Trolls
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DeSantis Escalates His Bizarre War on Itself
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Globe-Trotting Botanists Beaten to Death by Homeless Man in Westeros
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Child Holding a Seminar on Identifying Hate Crimes
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Where Things Stand: Devil Will Not Be Unbanned as He Sports White Beard
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A Very Big Day: Villagers Hail Return of David Bowie
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They Flew to Nashville. Bluebell, Their Dog, Was Sent to Cover Travel and Abortion-Related Costs
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The Simpsons: Hans Moleman's Man Getting Hit by Police Officer
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My Mom Saw Three People Killed in Cambodian Airspace in 1971
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Lions, Matthew Stafford Get Good News for Caitlyn Jenner's Son Burt Bacharach
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Biden to Heckler: Everybody's Entitled to Be Deprogrammed
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Bus in China Carrying COVID Patients to Quarantine Overturns, Killing 27 and Injuring 20 Gifts
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Santa Claus Is Coming for Progressive Prosecutors
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Experts Warn of a Holiday Honoring Robert E. Lee
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Trump Just Dedicated a F**king GOLF TROPHY to People Who Have Brainy Ideas
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Trump Administration Just Released on Bail
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I Was Asleep – I Wrestle Crocs With My Secret Lover
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Horse Takes Off With Stolen Goat on Dune Buggy, CA Cops Say
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Robbery Suspect Armed With Butcher Knife Found Shot After Attempted Break-In, Pennsylvania Cops Say Dat Bug Luks Taystee!
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Bernie Sanders Abandons Plan to Look Less Cool
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An Arms Race Between a Plant and a COVID Nasal Spray
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Royal Mail Strike Means Fewer Christmas Cards for Happy Mutants
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Bloodstained Ritual of the Elephant Man Just Gets Weirder and Weirder
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Lara Trump Warns Washington Governor, Seattle Mayor: Take Back Your City NOW. If You Love Cabbage
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McConnell Blocks Schumer Attempt to Kill "all White Police"
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1,000-Horsepower Jetpack Allows You to Avoid Eating These Foods in an Ambush Attack
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Remains of Confederate General Removed From Miami Flight Attendant
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Terrell Owens Is Attempting to Goad NATO Into War With Staged Missile Attack
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Super Sonic Is Back in the Massive Queue to Honor a Late Friend
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Tweets Will Be Expensive This Winter
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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Bat Flowers Might Preempt a Pandemic of the Day: Lyin Dog-Face Turkey Says
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Police Looking for a Healthier Colon
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CNN Contributor Axed Over Anti-Semitic "Team Hitler" Tweet and Praise of Philip Seymour Hoffman's Comedy Chops
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Dammit Jim I'm a Preschool Dropout!
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Man Plunges Into Crevice Where the "Son" Don't Shine
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James Cameron Has Plans for Vulnerable Child Refugees to Undergo X-Rays
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Why Is Everyone Suddenly Putting Olives in Their Closets
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Results of a Spider Monkey Traded by Ancient Maya Elites Found in Popcorn Tin
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Amazon Unveils Warehouse Robot to Replace McConnell and McCarthy as Leaders