Headline Smasher

This is the greatest

Everyone forgets Tiffany. There's always a Tiffany.

I think he also only has one daughter in this universe, but I could be wrong.

What kind of weird alternate universe is this? He doesn't like dogs or go climbing in this one and most importantly, he isn't dead.

The Dragon of Bootypest

Right??

It's empty... right?

Creepy...

I see my dad's pilaf made the news again.

She's alright, I guess? Kinda underwhelming compared to a dragon, or even a bus-sized crocodile.

that'll do it.

Man of Steel in a nutshell

Dangit! Third time this week!

ROCK IS YOU

That averages to about one person a month. This dracula has some restraint, at least.

Yes.

At least not since Barry retired.

I can only assume so!

Is missing everyone?

I'm just a poor boy, I need no DLC

Maybe. But you don't wanna see how it's made.

A self-driving sausage?

Do They or Don't They Know Anything? Let's Find Out or Not!

what the actual heck

This one assures you, he has never seen this skooma before.

...Walk into a bar.

No! MORE Bloodshed!

Ain't no rule that says a tree can't play football!

Why did one set of single quotes get turned into double quotes while the other was removed?

Not everyone gets the cool superpowers.

EW.

Trump used WALL... Its super effective.

My "little child" died?

I hear this in my head as an Oingo Boingo song. How about you?

I love the weird emphasis you get from some headlines being all caps.

This is the pinnacle of smashed headlines

Oh my god we must eat breakfast, we are slowly leading this world to the END of civilization.

This is how we do it now a days

The United States is heavily in debt to Jennifer Hagan.

Comma included.