Recent Comments

Bees Need to Know About That Obama Endorsement Now! Joe Biden Open Letter

cpiece

THINK OF THE BEES, OBAMA!

Philadelphia Cream Cheese Into a Manhattan

jot

Don't knock it till youse tried it.

Germans Think Trump Is "Fabricated"

blastinus

No, he's real, sorry to say.

Daniel, We Need More Pozole in Your Mom's Dildo!

jot

What's the matter, son, you deaf or something? Get your lazy ass down to La Villita, pronto!

Reindeer Starving in Arctic as Ice Piles on Top of Snow and YOU Complete Me

jot

Aww, that's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.

US Denies Young Teens Easy Access to Dank Edibles

unemondesansdanger

This is a human rights violation.

Don't Give Up on the Brink of War Crimes

jot

- John Bolton

Pelosi Should Do the Same in 2020. This Is the Real Inspiration for "Pokemon"

shubhupatil

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Not Again! Hillary Clinton Behind Bars

drfault

"Not again!"

The Average Person Will Watch Over 78,000 Hours of Willem Dafoe Saying, Good Dog!

blastinus

Heck, sign me up.

Dieting in the Road?

jot

No one will be watching us—why don't we diet in the road?

You Can Tell the Kardashians Are Getting Worse

blastinus

Is that even possible?

Boy, 8, Dies of Injuries From Christmas Pudding

jot

What a good boy was he.

WHOA: VP Mike Pence Makes Unannounced Visit to "Shameful" Lesbos Camp

rajhu

This one is pretty funny.

Help Me, I'm Trapped in My Professional Career

blastinus

This one's too real.

Bread Delivery Man With Nothing to Lose

jot

Vin Diesel is BRINGING THE PAIN, now available on DVD and HD-DVD.

Mitch, Don't Eat the Rich

jot

I'm really not a fan of E-Rotic's new conservative direction.

Noodles With a Polarizing Wedge Shape

jot

They're DUMPLINGS, for fuck's sake!

Husband of a Church Service Dog in Window: Please Put Me Out of Here, B****!

jot

You really shouldn't be calling your wife that, even if she literally is one.

I Have No Widows. Why?

blastinus

Better get started on that.

My Vagina Has Closed for Business to Make Gravy Like You Know the True God of War Crimes

jot

This one didn't quite stick the landing, but I'd say it still deserves an 8/10.

Elizabeth Warren Elevates Beef With French Baguette, Served on a Tie

jot

Enough with the wishy-washy double talk, Liz. We demand Medicare for All. Also, plates.

Final Fantasy Football

blastinus

They tried that in Final Fantasy X. It was okay.

Horse Was Rescued After Car Plunges Into Pool

jot

Bojack?

What to Expect From Next Round of Impeachment Against Trump Over His "jarring" Transformation Into Kylo Ren

prytonis

This explains why he wants a Space Force.

You Should Be Studying

blastinus

You're not my mom.

Toddler Dies After Night of Rough Car Sex Outside New Jersey High-Rise

zadieblack

There is so much wrong with this.

What Is a Punch Line

prytonis

No, What's on second.

Don't Blink, Even When You're Alone

matthew_cline

Sounds like part of the containment procedures for an SCP.

Literally No One, NO ONE Injured, Pentagon Says

blastinus

That's a very specific denial.

I'm Not Telling the Truth

ferrihydrite

🤔

thepenguinking2

So does this mean this statement is a lie or is it true?

Google Pixel 4 Is Enrolling in University Next Month

rasa

smart phone...

Please Treat Me Like an Accordion

th0masjb

Oh yeah baby, I like it when you talk dirty!

67-Year-Old Gives Birth to Green Puppy: "It Was Wrong and Improper"

blastinus

That's not a nice thing to say about a puppy.

Papa John's Founder Ate 40 Pizzas in 30 SECONDS

thepenguinking2

That day of reckoning is gonna be extra scary.

Man Runs With His Feet

rivemont

I can't the media aren't covering this

Browns Fans Are Getting Turned Into Biosludge, Then Deposited on Crops

prytonis

And I thought Lions fans had it rough.

Elizabeth Warren Has Emerged as the Punisher in Future MCU Films

tom_braun

YES.

OOOOMG Is This Success

yerdead321

Me the few times I do something right