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2,194 smashes / 3,874 upvotes / smashed from 5,075 real headlines
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Hancock Sheds Tear of Pride as Covid Threatens to Release Song "Stayin Alert"
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Trump to Introduce Scrotal Distancing
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General Elections May Be Delayed Until UK Re-Joins EU. More Soon
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No Apology From Apology for Bo Selecta Being Shit
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Pastor Curry to Be Hotter Than Expected The Sun Zerohedge
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New Oxford Vaccine Contains Purely British Genome Sequence Data Nature
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Harry and Meghan Announce Birth of a "Cummings" DNyuz
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Emma Watson Has Her Heart Set on a Slug. More Soon WeSmirch
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Mother of Officer Sicknick Says Media Got Away With Killing Grandmas Just Because They Hate Conservative Firsts The Federalist
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George Floyd's Death Is the First Major Retailer to Offer Second Opinions CNN MTV USA Today
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Emery Tells Arsenal: Oooh, You Are Anymore! Cheezburger
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Supreme Court Agrees to Punch Him in Without a Mask During Virtual Climate Summit 100percentfedup The Sun Zerohedge
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Man Thrown Out of School District Naturalnews The Seattle Times
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10 Good TV Shows for Free Range HelloGiggles PC Gamer
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What Is an Oxymoron. More Soon HelloGiggles
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Trump to Appoint First Female Player? Libertyunyielding
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Jacob Rees-Mogg Changes Name to Britney Spears, Janet Jackson The Daily Beast
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Theresa May Blames Everything on the Boys ? Heavy.com
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Inventor of Rotisesserie Still Turning in His Stand-Up Act Elite Daily
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Bank Robbers Demand Right to Keep Insects Away
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Travel Advice Based on Your Moodiest Playlist Elite Daily
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Firing Me for Calling the Police on a Slug. More Soon McSweeny's
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The Mavericks Have a Scrap in My Car Park, Says Pub Landlord SBNation
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A Sign of Hope in His Grave Alternet Cheezburger
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Covid Tier 4 Rules in Their Homes. They Don't Believe in Kohl Stewart's Potential as a "Linesman" Baltimore Sun The Guardian The Federalist The Grand Narrative USA Today
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Click Here to Stay Alive: Indoor Dining Has Its Risks, but Can Its Return Save NYC Restaurants? The Federalist USA Today
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Rifle-Wielding Army Trainee Charged After Hijacking School Bus Full of Text Messages. More Later New York Post
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At-Home Coronavirus Test and Trace Failure on Microsoft Clippy Mirror
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The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Returns to the Office Quiz BuzzFeed National Review
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Army Initially Resisted DC Request to Start Up Chocolate Fire-Guard Business Talking Points Memo
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Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead to Worldwide Placebo Shortage Mommyish
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French President to Use Wheelchair to Promote Bitcoin Scams Business Insider Vice
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Bad Bunny Hits the Gym & Posts Shirtless Mirror Selfie as He Might Go Off. More Later Hollywood Life
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A Promising Way to Prove Corbyn Is a 120Hz Phone for $699 Ars Technica Business Insider Tonic
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Touching Relatives Permitted Again Soon, but Not "Rushing Into Marriage" With Dale Moss After Public Split Stanley OK! Magazine USA Today
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Why Isn't Fauci Being CRIMINALLY Investigated for Washington Lobbying After Discovery of 100s of "Love DC" Texts Naturalnews
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A K-Pop Trainee Proctologist BuzzFeed
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For Me, It Evokes Memories of Family Barbecues: Why I Didn't Want Bodies Piling Up Like My Family's Basement The Guardian
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Meghan Markle Scores First Acting Gig Since Leaving Office Workers to China Ramping Daily Caller Naturalnews
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Your February Horoscope Asks You to Become New Olympic Sport, but Not "Poop" Hollywood Life Mashable