Real Headline from Upworthy Upworthy
“If You Were Wondering How Broken Our Education System Is, Have I Got The Prison For You”
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Smashes of This Headline

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OK, OK, I Got the Source Material's Point Exactly Wrong
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A Sexy, Dirty Teen Thriller Turns Out You Were Wondering How Broken Our Education System
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That Cheerios Commercial Just Got the Prison for 11 Years Old News
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The Prison for 16 Years. Paid Taxes. Never Had a Baby Girl So She Had Struck Gold. Then She Looked Out Her Office Window