Real Headline from Gawker Gawker
“Man Allegedly Steals $100,000 Worth of Whiskey”
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Smashes of This Headline

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2 Dead, 44 Missing After an Hour's Worth of Whiskey
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Florida Man Allegedly Steals $100,000 Worth of Gopher Feet
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Man Allegedly Steals $100,000 Worth of Liquid Meth
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Bride Allegedly Steals $100,000 Worth of Worship Into One (Adorable!) Minute