Real Headline from Deadspin Deadspin
“Cubs minor leaguer nabbed with obscene amount of meth, oxy in his duffel bag”
Jesse Spector — March 20, 2021
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Smashes of This Headline

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Tiger Woods Unconscious in His Duffel Bag
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Eat Shit, Cardinals Minor Leaguer Nabbed With Obscene Amount of Math [Pdf]