Real Headline from The Gloss The Gloss
“Dear Youths Of America: Please Do Not Wear An Affinity For Drugs On Your Literal Sleeves”
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Smashes of This Headline

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Dear Youths of America: Please Do Not Apply for a Human Version of "Brown Sugar" Featuring Eric Clapton
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Please Do Not Bug Kevin Spacey at the Kardashian-West Wedding
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Put Some Mustaches on Your Literal Sleeves