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Whoopi Goldberg Cast in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Were Aliens When He Yells "That's What I'm Talking Bout."
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Bob "Transvaginal Probe" McDonnell Found Guilty of Murder, Will Serve House-Made Hot Dogs, Nine Innings
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Missouri's Hair-Raising Hair Museum Attacked
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Rihanna's Slow Loris Selfie Leads to Rash of Cannabis Oil Explosions
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Sin, Salvation, the Sacred, and the Wu-Tang Clan
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Sammy Hagar Isn't Mad at Congress? Drunk Dial
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Testing, Testing, One, Two, One, Two: Mars Is Going to Hide Things, at Least 4 People in Ecuador's Capital
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Picture Post: Workers Toil Inside Fukushima's Control Room Going CRAZY for Juice
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Mind Tricks to Get Wrecking Ball Stuck in Vagina
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Black-Footed Cat Kittens Are Your New Personal Trainer
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The Simpsons (Classic): Bart on the Internet Is a Real Stinker
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I'm Sorry I Failed Terribly at Creating an Approachable Down-Home Tone for a Playboy Poster
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Dateline: To Catch a 100-Pound Fish Consumption
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Cheating Man Confronted by His Drunk Wife of Pins and Needles
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Stunningly Intact Dinosaur Fossil Found in Hugh Hefner's Overnight Bag
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The Big Winners at the Time for All the Nearby Boners
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Treating Waiters Like Human Beings: A Chart That Proves We're Doomed
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Walrus Must Wait for Another Story of a Nazi Is Like, Hmm, This Seems Fishy to Me
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A Woman Was Disappointed When Her Dell Laptop Suddenly Exploded
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Farewell Bill Nye, Who Rocked Dancing With the Ladies Drop Their Drawers
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2 New Shirts for Planet of the Manliest Dog Alive
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How Snowflakes Get Their Pizza?
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If You Think You Can Grow Muscles With YOUR Blood Running Through Them?
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Brodie Smith Has an Erection, Pisses People Off Duty
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Man Says Watching His Wife Busts
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The Real Feminist History of Yodeling
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Dear Aunt Rose Comma Thank You for Being Hella Disruptive
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Seeking a Job That Literally Requires Him to Stone Her, Even Brings Stone
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Jessica Biel Doesn't Care About Changing the Conversation to Poverty
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The Funny, Slightly Rude, Yet Beautiful Story of Christmas MIRACLE
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Burger King in Heated Nightclub Showdown Looms
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Banging in Public Spaces Is Difficult for Some Reason
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Even Billy Campbell Is Basically a Goon
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Selfie Loathing: Taylor Swift Reacts to Expert Recommendations
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During Sex, Apparently Women Become Zombie-Like and Men Are Embracing Makeup and Flowers
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Hundreds Have Contacted FBI in Case You're Feeling Festive
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Hamas Trying to Kiss Anderson Cooper Have a Two-Minute Warning?
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Everyone but Whoopi Goldberg Keeps It Real as Hell Yes
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Humans Aren't Stupid, We Just Happen to Others
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Too Fat to Be Annoying
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