Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

Ex-Patriots Player Says Team's Better Off Now Than When You Die, So That's a Shame

1 vote
Vote
Tweet
Share

discovered by unemondesansdanger
2020-08-14

2020-08-14

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    Ex-Patriots Player Says Team’s Better Off Without Tom Brady Because He ‘Wasn’t Willing To Adapt’
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    A Mountain Lion Had To Be Removed From A Family’s Crawl Space, So That’s A Thing That Can Happen
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    Trump 2020 Spokesman: 'You're Better Off Now Than When You Were' Three Years Ago
    Crooks and Liars Crooks and Liars
  • Read
    Smashes
    Hearing Is Apparently The Last Sense You Lose When You Die, So That’s Nice
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    This Toyota Yaris Hatchback just got cancelled, and that’s a shame
    Ars Technica Ars Technica

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account