Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

Why I Won't Get a Free Coffee

Why I Won't Get a Free Coffee by Anthony Bean via Flickr

2 votes
Vote
Tweet
Share

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    Hannah Anderson: Why I Texted My Kidnapper
    Gawker Gawker
  • Read
    Smashes
    Lazy Dog Won't Get Out of Bed for Less Than a Distressed Raccoon
    Gawker Gawker
  • Read
    Smashes
    Show Congress how to play nice, get a free coffee
    New York Post New York Post

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account