Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

SILICON Valley Bank Is Thinking About Retirement at Age 99

2 votes
Vote
Tweet
Share

discovered by nevermore
2016-12-20

2016-12-20

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    Silicon Valley Bank is thinking about removing names from résumés to prevent unconscious bias against job candidates
    Business Insider Business Insider
  • Read
    Smashes
    SILICON SULTANS FROZEN OUT OF NEW WHITE HOUSE
    Drudge Report Drudge Report
  • Read
    Smashes
    Pearl Harbor survivor, greeter at memorial dies at age 99
    Fox News Fox News
  • Read
    Smashes
    NFL players reportedly believe that Panthers linebacker Luke Kuechly's scary concussion should have him thinking about retirement at age 25
    Business Insider Business Insider

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account