Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

How to Tell if You're Dying to Ooze Pure Sex Like Chuck Norris, and Steven Seagal

1 vote
Vote
Tweet
Share

discovered by ferrihydrite
2015-06-01

2015-06-01

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    Bro Writes Other-Worldly Rap Song About Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, and Steven Seagal
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    How to Tell If You’re Addicted to Porn
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    If You’re Dying to Ooze Pure Sex Like Chuck Norris, Then Check Out These ALL DENIM Ralph Lauren Suits
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    How to Seem Confident in Any Situation
    BroBible BroBible

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account